Frost's Soulmate
by melissarxy1
Summary: COMPLETED! The rating is very much deserved, if not of age, please don't read. Crossover between the Blade universe and the Night World. As for the summary... the title pretty much says all. R&R please. Enjoy.
1. Prolog

Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot. The Blade characters belong to Marvel and the Night World characters belong to LJ Smith. The songs belong to their mentioned singers.

* * *

Prolog 

"Why me?" Raven asked honored but confused. She had never been asked to go on a mission before, much less a solo mission.

"You're perfect for this," Thierry announced.

"Yeah, you're a girl," Ash said.

"Ash," Thierry growled.

Ash looked back at him interested. "Yeah?"

"There are actually three types of vampires," Thierry began now trying to ignore Ash. "We were created by Maya, they were created by Dracula."

Raven looked at Thierry in shock. "Seriously? Dracula exists?"

"Not as the books portray him but yes. I need you to go to the penthouse of one of their leaders: Deacon Frost."

"Okay. What am I going there for?"

"He has a scroll with an old prophecy on it. He said he'd be willing to negotiate with us. Unfortunately, he's also negotiating with The Night World."

"Who's the Night World sending?"

"We don't know."

"Why are you sending me?" she asked again.

"Because we need someone level-headed, smart-"

"And available," Ash put in ever so helpfully.

"Why are you even here?" Thierry demanded.

"The entertainment value."

"When do I need to be ready?" Raven interjected.

"By tomorrow, I'm sorry it's so soon-" Thierry began.

"No, it's okay." Now she understood. She was the last resort; he had already asked the others who were available. It was okay; she'd get her chance to prove that she was just as good as the others, and that they could trust her. "Anything else I should know?"

"That's about it. Ash will answer any questions you have when he escorts you to the Mr. Frost's penthouse."

Ash sat up a little straighter. "When I what?"

"You know him, Ash. Besides, if you're going to hang around and make trouble I'm going to put you to work. Besides, she'll need you nearby if something happens." Ash frowned but nodded.

"I guess I'll go pack," Raven said standing.

"Be careful, Raven," Thierry said. "He promised that these would be simple negotiations but you never know."

"I'm always careful," Raven announced.

Early the next morning

"I'm going to miss you," Jez said hugging her friend quickly. Affection wasn't something that the two girls shared very often and it told Raven how dangerous this mission might be.

"Be careful," Morgead said. "Call if you need anything."

"I will," Raven shouldered her dufflebag. "I'll see you guys soon."

"Ready?" Ash asked leaning on the doorframe. Jez glared at him for the interruption. He stared back blandly.

"I'm ready," Raven said. He took her bag and tossed it in the back. They got in and he took off with a squeal of tires.

Later

"What am I not being told?" Raven asked as they neared the penthouse.

"Back in the day Deacon and I were acquaintances I've been to parties, I've hung out in his penthouse. Does that answer your question?"

"Almost. If he's evil why are we even negotiating with him?"

"He has no love for the Night World. They refused to recognize his kind. Daybreak doesn't. He'll listen."

"Why me?"

"He asked for someone else who fit your criteria."

"What? Boobs?"

Ash smirked. "Close. He wanted someone who's never done this before."

"I won't even ask how that's close. Why?"

"One thing Deacon hates is people looking down on him, and most of our agents have a bit of an overconfidence problem."

"True." Although, Raven reasoned, Ash didn't. He still firmly believed that deep down he was scum.

"Here we are."

"Thanks, Ash. Anything else?"

"No, but I told Thierry I'd be nearby. Call if you need me."

"I will," Raven promised getting out and grabbing her bag.

"Watch your back."

"Yeah, yeah."


	2. What Would Happen?

What Would Happen

_Electricity, eye to eye  
Hey don't I know you  
I can't speak _

_Stripped my senses  
On the spot  
I've never been defenseless  
I can't even make sense of this  
You speak and I don't hear a word _

_What would happen if we kissed  
Would your tongue slip past my lips  
Would you run away, would you stay  
Or would I melt into you  
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust  
Spontaneously combust  
_-Meredith Brooks

She walked into the building and up to the front desk where a skuzzy looking man sat playing solitaire.

"You're late," the man said.

Raven blinked at him. "Are you Mr. Frost?"

The guy snorted. "Hell no. Take the first elevator to the top."

"Oh… Thank you."

"Whatever." She shouldered her bag and got onto the elevator and concentrated on steadying her breathing. For some reason the mere idea of this meeting scared her. The elevator stopped and she stepped out. A woman in a slinky red dress lounged in a chair facing the window, so she couldn't see her and a man stood next to a desk.

He looked up when he saw her. Raven could swear that electricity hummed between them. "You're late."

Raven bristled. "So I've been told. My flight was delayed. I'm Raven."

"Deacon. This is Calypso, the Night World's," his voice practically dripped with disdain, "agent."

"The journey must have been hard. You look exhausted," Calypso said.

Raven gritted her teeth. _You're sophisticated, calm, and serene_. "Thank you for your concern."

Deacon looked between the two. "You know each other."

"We've met," Raven said.

"Several times. I had no idea that they'd allow a novice like you on the front lines."

"We're here to talk about this scroll not fight," Raven said resisting the urge to snap at the other girl.

"Have a seat," Deacon said. Raven sat down and Deacon perched on the edge of his desk. "Let's get started. State your cases. Why should I give you the scroll?"

Calypso spoke first. "Full recognition as an elder of the vampires."

"You have to do better than that, babe, I don't give a fuck what your elders think."

Calypso's eyes widened obviously unable to comprehend that someone wouldn't want to be on the elder's council. "When we take control it will be like the days of old. Humans will be kept as livestock, the vampires will rule. You could be a king."

"I could be really bored. You're loosing me here. I already know what your people's promises are worth. Why should I trust you?"

"If they win you'll have to hide. They won't allow you to lifestyle to continue. You may not like us but we are the lesser of two evils." Raven snorted at Calypso's wording.

"Raven," his pale eyes slid to her and she fought a shiver.

"You have Lord Thierry's word that we will not go after you as long as you remain discreet, although he would like for you to just prey on the dregs of society or just stop feeding from people all together."

Deacon snorted. "You're cute. Go on."

Raven relaxed a little bit at the fact that he was still listening to her. "In the new order you'll have a permanent seat on our council. We want to coexist, Mr. Frost, that's our goal. We're also prepared to offer you this," she pulled out the ring Thierry had given her, "as a show of our sincerity." Deacon looked down at the ring before walking over and taking it from her. Their hands touched, sparks flew. A pink haze surrounded them.

"Fuck…" His eyes flew to hers as he sat back down on the desk. "What was that?"

"A trick," Calypso accused. "This is how they get people to their side."

"You," Deacon said without looking. "Shut up and leave. We'll talk later." Calypso started to speak but gave up and stood.

"You have my number."

"Yeah," Deacon said. He looked back at Raven calmly as Calypso walked out. "Now explain."

"I… I'm not sure how to… you won't like it."

"That I guessed. Try."

"We have a story, only it's not a story now because it's actually happening. It's called the soulmate principle."

"That sounds pretty fuckin' gay."

"I told you that you wouldn't like it. It states that there is one person in the world that's meant for you and when you meet them you'll know."

"Hence the sparks and that weird haze."

"Yeah."

"Come here."

"Why?"

He smirked. "We're still negotiating, right?" Raven stood hesitantly. Deacon met her halfway. Her breath caught in her throat as he reached out and ran his hands down her bare arms. The haze surrounded them and he could almost see a silver cord humming between them. She stared into his eyes only one of hers was visible behind her wealth of thick hair. He brushed the hair out if her eyes. She almost winced but kept staring at him. "So I guess," he drawled, "the idea is that we fall in love and live happily ever fuckin' after. Right?"

"That's the idea."

"Right. Of course. And I'm supposed to change my ways and become a white hat, right?"

"I-"

"That won't be happening, sweetheart." As angry as he was at fate he couldn't seem to stop touching her. Her skin was so soft, it just begged for him to stroke it. He stroked his finger down her cheek. "You are beautiful, though."

"Mr. Frost… I really don't think that this is-"

"Why are you calling me Mr. Frost?"

"Okay… Deacon."

"I like you saying my name."

"I… don't know anything about you… this is kind of weird."

"This is very weird." He lowered his head slightly just touching his lips to hers. It wasn't a kiss, just a touch. "I make my own fate." Their lips brushed as he spoke.

"We all do," she said pulling away a little. "We can just pretend this never happened… neither of us need this right now."

"So very true."

"So… why aren't you letting me go?"

"I'm not sure." With that he kissed her. Raven stiffened in his arms but only for a second. The pink haze danced behind her eyes, it heightened the feel of every touch of his lips. His tongue swept inside her mouth. She whimpered bringing her arms to rest around his neck. His mouth should be outlawed. His hands slid into her back pockets and he pulled her into him.

"Wait…"

He sighed. "Yes?"

"Deacon, I'm sorry, I can't… do anything with you."

"What happened to 'one person in the world'?"

"I'm sorry, I don't sleep with guys I just met."

"I'm not asking you to sleep with me," he said. He kissed her again but she pulled away.

"No, but I know that's where this is heading."

"You said yourself, Raven, that this was meant to be. Do you really want to leave here and never have experienced what it would be like?"

"I- I'm sorry… I can't."

"I figured. White hats don't change. Here." He walked to his desk and opened it grabbing the scroll and holding it out. "You won't like what's inside."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I have no fuckin' idea. Just take it, Raven, and go. If you change your mind, you know where to find me." She took it out of his hand. "Things are going to get bad. I'm calling all my people in. If you need sanctuary, come here." She looked at him surprised.

"Why-?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Thank you."

"You won't mean that when you read this."

"What's in it?"

"A very old, very dead language. It doesn't matter. Did you ever find the fourth wild power?"

"He… was killed. We were hoping that perhaps this prophecy would help. How do you know about the wild powers?"

"Just because the Night World has no interest in us doesn't mean that we aren't watching them." Deacon kissed her quickly. She grabbed her bag. "Just watch out for yourself, kid." She looked up at him for a moment before shouldering her bag and walking back towards the elevator.


	3. I Can't Seem to Make Myself Forget

I Can't Seem To Make Myself Forget

_What does it matter  
__What's done is done and I should  
__Get on with my life  
__Why are you haunting me?  
__Well I don't know what it is  
__But I can't seem to make myself forget_

_Was it something that you said  
__Or is it all the guilt inside my head  
__Why are you haunting me?  
_-Stabbing Westward

Three years later

"Deacon," it was her voice always her voice haunting his dreams. It was breathy and scared. "Please, I need you. Don't leave me alone." He growled closing his eyes tighter. She wouldn't leave him alone.

"Deacon?" Mercury's voice brought him back to his senses. He blinked confused for a second. "I was heading to the auction. Do you want to go?" She knew better than to say she saw that he was having a nightmare and wanted to wake him.

"Yeah, I need to get out of this apartment." She looked surprised but nodded and left. He got up and showered before dressing in a dark blue silk shirt and a pair of blue jeans. With the takeover every one was wearing black so Deacon changed his look. He walked to the elevator and met Mercury in the lobby.

The streets were virtually empty as they walked to his car: a red thunderbird convertible. "I'll take my car," Mercury said. "In case we pick something up." Deacon nodded and hopped into his car. Now there was no crime, mostly because there was only one law, Murphy's Law prevailed: survival of the fittest.

Deacon's little operation had fared well through the war. He told the Night World what was in the scroll, even though it had no use to them. They in turn left his people out of the war. But now life was much too easy for Deacon's taste. There was no more real hunts. The closest things were the canned hunts.

He pulled up to the tall building that housed the city's auctions, which were the way the vampires and shape shifters got their meat and blood. Mercury arrived at the same time that he did. They walked in together their strides matching. He knew how they looked, the Night people always stepped aside allowing the two to pass. He allowed Mercury to pick their seats on the edge towards the back.

"This is always fun," he drawled.

"You've never joined me here before," Mercury noted.

"It's been too fuckin' long since I've appeared in public with these people," Deacon noted. "Need to keep up the image."

Mercury smirked. "Of course." The auctioneers brought out the first human a young man. The bidding ensued. Deacon sat back watching the greedy vampires and shape shifters bid over person after person.

"Our last item is truly a rare treat." He brought out a hooded figure and Deacon felt the heart he didn't think he had clench. It was her; he knew it. "A vampire, just twenty years old, she's completely untouched, we'll show you the doctor bills if you wish, we found her hiding in a hovel." The man swept her hood back and Deacon shot to her feet.

"Raven," he said in a commanding tone stalking towards the stage. He grabbed her forcing her to her knees. "Do you have any idea of the trouble you've caused me?"

"What on earth?" the auctioneer blustered.

"She's been a slave in my household for a year," Deacon growled. "She disappeared. I'll be willing to pay you for returning her to me, of course."

"Yes, but Mr. Frost-"

"Is there a problem?" Deacon asked his cold eyes locking on the man's.

"No. I'm happy to have helped." Deacon yanked Raven to her feet and dragged her out of the building pausing briefly to tell an astonished Mercury that she could stay as long as she wished. Deacon put Raven in his car and got in himself.

"Deacon?" Raven said barely able to comprehend what had happened.

"Un-fuckin-believable," Deacon said. "What happened? I knew you weren't dead so I assumed you were smart enough to not get caught."

"I… I was for a while. I was trying to save a child from the shape shifters… but it was a trap."

"As I said, white hats don't change."

"Why did you save me?"

"'Save you?' I'm merely reclaiming what's mine. I don't like other people touching what belongs to me."

"We're soul mates."

"Yes, and because of that I keep thinking about you, all the fuckin' time. And now I have you." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye raising an eyebrow. "So, untouched?"

Raven shuddered. "When they bring a new slave in they're examined to see if they're…"

"The word you looking for, baby, is virgins." Deacon wanted to tear someone apart for this injustice. She was his; no one else could touch her. She was his to beat, love, kill, fuck- to do what ever he wished. He would examine this strange fact that he wanted to protect her later. He stopped in front of his building. "I suppose that you're going to tell me that this was fate."

She almost smiled. "It does seem that way." He led her inside and put her in the elevator that led to the penthouse.

"Go take a bath. I'll be up with some blood." She obeyed obviously thrilled at the idea of a bath.

Raven went up to the pent house and looked around. It looked like it had been professionally decorated. There were statues of Rodin's Porte de L'Enfer tastefully displayed throughout the room. A large leather couch and two leather chairs sat in the room facing a huge television. The strangest thing in the room was a gray tabby cat. Raven looked at it for a few seconds and it opened its mouth hissing and revealing large fangs. Weirded out, she walked further into the apartment. Soon she found Deacon's room.

A huge four post bed, bigger than a king, sat in the middle of the room. The sheets were black and made of pure silk. The comforter was satin. A nice computer desk sat in the corner a long with a bunch of televisions showing various rooms in the building. She went into the bathroom and drew some water adding some bubble bath to it on impulse.

She had managed to keep herself pretty clean but hadn't been able to take a real bath in over a year. Soon the tub, which was Jacuzzi sized, was filled. Raven stripped off her clothes and sank, happily into the water. She washed her hair and even shaved, not bothering to wonder why there was a razor in his bathtub. She knew Deacon wasn't the type to remain celibate.

It didn't matter; she wouldn't allow herself to fall in love with him. Soul mates or not. Uninvited, Deacon walked into the room. Raven squeaked making sure she was covered by the bubbles. "Hiding from me?" he asked amused. He held out the glass of blood while sitting down on the side of the tub. Raven took it gratefully. Deacon grabbed her arm. "You're bruised."

"Yes, well, they weren't exactly kind to their _slaves_," Raven said her tone bitter as she pulled her arm away gently so she could drink. "Thank you, Mr. Frost."

"Deacon. No one calls me Mr. Frost. I'll go get you something to wear." He left and she got out drying herself off. She knew what was bound to happen, she just didn't know when. She had the towel wrapped around herself when he came back. He shook his head at the sight. "Here, I'll get some real clothes for you later." He actually left so she could get dressed in the oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. When she emerged he was sitting on the bed and motioned for her to join him. Her mouth was dry as she complied.


	4. Wounded

Wounded

_Let me break it down till I force the issue  
__You never come around, and you know we miss you  
__Well, nobody took your pride away  
__That's something people say_

_Back down the bully to the back of the bus  
__Cause it's time for them to be scared of us  
__Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball  
__Then you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on  
__You're a summer time hottie with her socks in the air  
__Screaming I don't care, baby, I don't care  
_-Third Eye Blind

Deacon leaned back into the pillows. "Tell me what happened."

"What do you want to know?" Raven asked

"Let's start with how you've kept yourself alive and move on to why you're so scared of me right now."

"Scared?"

"Yes, scared. I can see it in you're eyes, sweetheart and I can smell it," he leaned in close to her neck and breathed in her scent she shivered, "on your skin."

"I… I'm not scared of you… not really."

"What the fuck do you mean: 'Not really?' I have been so fuckin' courteous of you-"

Raven dropped her eyes, Deacon frowned, she had never been so submissive. "I know, and believe me, I'm grateful. If you hadn't come along today… I don't know what would have happened."

"I do. I seen what the great and powerful Night World does if you anger them. How old are you, Raven?"

"Twenty."

Deacon blinked. "You were only seventeen when we met?"

"Yeah."

That explained a lot. "You seemed older."

"I've been told that I was too mature for my own good," Raven said with a fond smile that faded as her heart clenched in her chest. _Jez._ She tried to make sure that her inner turmoil was masked. Deacon still frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Raven smiled again. "The term wet blanket has been used."

Deacon laughed. "You never answered my first question."

"I'm not really scared of you," she assured him. "Just of… men."

His eyes widened but narrowed in anger almost immediately. "Did someone hurt you? Tell me who."

"I don't even know."

"Baby," Deacon said, his voice as gentle as he knew to make it, "I suggest you tell me what happened."

Raven took a deep breath refusing to look at him. "I was captured by a group of slave hunters. They were going to… I managed to talk them into letting me pleasure them instead." She looked away. "I- I was scared and I didn't want my first time to be like that."

"Why didn't you call for me?"

"I tried, I couldn't get through. I didn't know if you'd hear me, I didn't even know if you were alive."

Deacon winced. The dreams. "It's okay. Why don't you get some sleep? There's some stuff I need to do."

"Thank you, for everything. Should I sleep here?"

"Sure." He kissed her on the cheek. "Goodnight, sweetheart." Raven curled up in his bed wearing his shirt. Forcing the thoughts that brought up away, he left the room. He walked down the stars instead of taking the elevator to work off some of the excess energy that made him want to rip someone apart.

"Problems?" Quinn asked once Deacon went into their main room, an office outfitted to receive guests as well.

Deacon didn't bother answering. "Get some computer smart lackey's together. I want the name of every vampire, shape shifter, and witch who was in a hunting party Thursday. Tell them I want as many details as they can give me. Tell me right away when you find the names." Quinn wrote that down. It was a good idea, since Deacon got really angry when someone messed up, and Quinn was kind of forgetful.

"Sure, Deac. Can I ask why?"

"No."

Quinn nodded with a shrug. "I figured. I'll get right on it. Anything else?"

"I need clothes, women's clothes."

"Okay. What type?"

"Everything." He gave Quinn her measurements in everything. Quinn just stared at him. "What?"

"Do you have a seamstress up there?"

Deacon grinned. "I know women."

"I'll get right on it, boss." Deacon's next stop was his kitchen.

"Deac!" a man exclaimed raising a glass of blood in a salute.

"Ash, I found one of yours today."

Ash sat up a little straighter. "Really? Who?"

"Raven."

"She okay? I thought for sure that she was dead after the Night World's raid on Jez's safe house. The poor kid, all her friends have died."

"She's fine, physically. I'm trying to get some clothes for her."

"Will she stay? Raven's been on the dark side before, she didn't like it."

"True, but your girl didn't exactly like being here at first."

"You raise a good point. Besides, none of us have a choice now." Deacon turned on his faucet, which now poured out blood from a separate spigot. He poured himself a glass. His building was home to several Daybreakers. His rules were simple. Make yourself useful and you can stay, or you can get out.

Ash, he had taken in out of a rare moment of pity. The young lamia had shown up one night clutching his dying soul mate and sobbing. Deacon had allowed him inside and Ash had started the process of turning Mary-Lynette. Now Ash got the entertainment for his clubs. Mary-Lynnette was smart enough to be put in charge of the running of some of the clubs; she did the hiring and balanced the funds. Deacon washed the glass.

"It's almost dawn. I'll see you tomorrow."

"We finally caught that girl, Abigail and the former vampire," Ash said. "Do you want us to take them out or what?"

Deacon blinked. Why hadn't Quinn told him this? "Leave them overnight. Let them wonder. I'll deal with them tomorrow."

"I'll pass it on."

"Good night." Deacon rode the elevator back up and walked into his penthouse. Mr. Whiskers was laying on the chair. Deacon petted him absently as he passed. The cat batted at him. Deacon walked into his bedroom and got undressed throwing his clothes into the hamper.

He left on his boxer-briefs only because he didn't want her to be uncomfortable. He climbed into the bed careful not to wake her. He could see tracks of tears down Raven's cheeks. Deacon sighed brushing her hair back. "Sweet dreams, baby."


	5. Lay it Down

Lay It Down

_I wonder how you sleep  
__I wonder what you think of me  
__If I could go back  
__Would you have ever been with me  
__I want you to be uneased  
__I want you to remember  
__I want you to believe in me  
__I want you on my side_

_Come on and  
__Lay it down  
__I've always been with you  
__Here and now  
__Give all that's within you  
__Be my savior  
__And I'll be your downfall  
_-Matchbox Twenty

Raven awoke with her head on a hard, cold pillow and a pair of gold eyes staring at her. She screamed. Her pillow reacted violently, springing up, which threw her aside. If the bed weren't so big she would have fallen off. She blinked at Deacon and offered a sheepish, "Sorry."

"Mr. Whiskers scare you?"

"Mr. Who?"

"Mr. Whiskers, the cat. Incidentally, I didn't name him. Hell, he's not even my cat." Raven stretched out relieved that he wasn't mad at her for waking him up.

"Who's is he?"

"I have no idea. He's a vampire cat though. We found him in a lab. These vamps were doing research. He was their perfected specimen, the only one who didn't have this weird extra tongue." Deacon stroked the cat's head. "He drinks blood just like us."

"You'd think they'd have picked a purebred cat," Raven said as Mr. Whiskers jumped off the bed.

"That's what I thought, the pure bloods usually stick together, then there's him. He's too sweet to be a vampire though."

Raven smiled. "All depends on the type." There was a knock on the door. Deacon stood, reluctantly and crossing over to the door, not bothering to put on pants. "Deacon!"

"I don't care if Quinn sees my underwear." She looked at the camera and saw the vampire that had been playing solitaire standing outside the door with four huge bags. Deacon opened the door. "Thanks, man. Any info?"

"Not yet. They're looking harder. They've narrowed it down a bit."

"Okay, tell them I want some names by tomorrow night."

"Will do." Quinn left and Deacon carried the bags into his bedroom and dropped them onto the bed.

"What's this?" Raven asked sitting up straighter.

"Clothes. Pretty much anything you'd need." Raven got up and went to his side. Together they went through the first bag. "I'm going to one of my clubs tonight. You want to come?"

"Remember? I'm a wet blanket. I'm way too uptight for a club."

Deacon grinned at her. "I'm sure I can loosen you up." She blushed looking back at the clothes. That was strangely enticing.

"What should I wear, if I do go?"

"Clubbing clothes." She stared blankly at him. "You've never been to a club."

It wasn't a question but she answered. "No, I didn't have the money when I was younger and I didn't have the time when I got older."

Deacon kissed the top of her head. "Then tonight will be an experience. I have some work to do. Find something sexy to wear, I'll come to pick you up in two hours."

"Could you give me some sort of clue?" she asked. "What do you want me to wear?

"Surprise me." She glared at him a little at that remark. He grinned back at her. "Women are supposed to enjoy this."

"I'm not most women."

"That," Deacon said, "is very true. Have fun, sweetheart." He left. Raven frowned at the pile of clothes. Mr. Whiskers hopped up onto the bed and stared at her in interest as she sorted through the clothing.

"If you're going to keep staring at me you could at least help," Raven told him. Mr. Whiskers yawned and stretched out. Raven opened another bag and started sorting through it.

"Deacon, you in?" a woman called. Raven turned and saw a beautiful woman with short platinum blond hair walking in. "Hello. Who are you?"

"I'm Raven."

"Oh, you're the girl that Deacon took. You clean up pretty good," the woman said. "I'm Mercury. What's all this?" She looked at the clothes lying all over the bed now heaped in piles.

"Deacon wants me to go with him tonight to one of his clubs. He told me to pick out something to wear." Raven shook her head lightly. "The only time I've seen so many clothes is in Illyana's closet."

"Can't narrow it down?" Mercury asked walking over and petting Mr. Whiskers.

"I don't even know what I'm looking for."

"You Night People," Mercury shook her head. "You just don't know how to have fun. I know Deacon pretty well. Want some help?"

"Um, sure." Mercury sorted through the clothes with her finally coming up with a cocktail dress. It was black and knee length there was a slit up one of the thighs. It had spaghetti straps and came down in a low v-neck.

"I don't know," Raven said looking at it then back at Mercury.

"Just trust me, it's perfect for your shape too." Mercury pulled out a pair of black wrap around stilettos. "These will go smashing together." Raven took the shoes wondering how she'd walk without killing herself. "On to the next items." To Raven's embarrassment she pulled out a pair of sheer black panties and a black lacy bra. "Perfect."

"I guess," Raven said. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," Mercury said. "I'll just hit the boss up for a bonus. Have fun." Mercury left. Raven folded the clothes, leaving what she was going to wear out, and went to take a shower.

When she got out a box was sitting on the sink. Raven opened it and found a black choker with a gold pentagram on it and two delicate gold earrings with tiny stars hanging from them. Raven dried her hair and, after a bit of thought, swept it up into a complicated bun. If Deacon wanted her to surprise him she would. She got dressed and looked at herself in the mirror. She was actually beautiful. She had never even thought of herself as attractive before.

"You ready?" Deacon asked opening the door without knocking once again.

"Deacon!" Raven exclaimed.

"What?"

"What if I were naked?"

"Then I'd consider myself lucky."

"I'm ready," she told him.

"I can see," he mused.

"Do I meet your approval?" she asked after a few seconds.

"Yes." She followed Deacon out to his car. Soon they arrived, Raven could hear what sounded like normal clubbing music playing, it wasn't the hard techno most of the vampire clubs played. Deacon got out and opened her door for her. "My lady."

"Don't try the gallant thing," Raven said. "You suck at it."

"Gee, thanks." She put her arm in his as they walked in. Deacon watched her face carefully as she realized who was in the club.

"Deacon…"

"Go say hi." Raven walked over to the vampires and threw herself into Ash's arms. Ash laughed and hugged her.

"How's it going, kiddo?" he asked.

"You're alive? But you disappeared after Quinn…"

"I know," Ash said. "The safe house was attacked, Quinn, Rashel and all the others died." Compulsively, Ash grabbed Mary-Lynnette's hand as though to remind himself that she was still there.

"I was almost killed," Mary-Lynnette told her. "Ash grabbed me and carried me away. He brought me here and turned me."

"We're lucky Deacon took us in."

"Night World vampires have something we don't," Deacon announced approaching. "No aversion to daylight, silver, or garlic."

"But you guys aren't allergic to wood," Ash pointed out.

"True," Deacon nodded.

"Anyone else alive?" Raven asked.

Ash smiled a little. "Look around, Raven." Raven obeyed and her mouth dropped open.

"They're all-"

"Deacon took us in," Ash said. "We can stay as long as we continue making ourselves useful."

"Please," Deacon scoffed. "You've never been useful." He turned to Raven. "Dance with me." Ash snorted.

"I don't dance." Still he took her hand and led her towards the dance floor. "Deacon-"

"One dance won't kill you, I promise."

"I can't dance, I've never danced."

Deacon smiled. "Wow, you really are innocent. I'll teach you."

"_The day rolls in, the night rolls out  
__Desire rules without a doubt  
__The heart beats fast, you salivate  
__And when you come it won't be late"_

Raven let him pull her against him. "Listen to the music," he murmured in her ear. "Find the rhythm." She nodded breathlessly. He started to dance, grinding against her. "Move with me." She obeyed looking up into his eyes.

"_I guess by now you got the score  
__A little taste you want it more  
__From San Antone to Marrakech  
__Yeah when the night comes  
__Everybody gotta have Flesh"_

"Not so hard, right?" Deacon asked. She shook her head. "Good." He leaned down and kissed her neck sweetly. She shivered and closed her eyes. "I want you, Raven." He could almost hear her heart speed up. "More than I have ever wanted another woman. You consume me." Her cheeks were flushed now.

"_You got me all soakin' wet  
__Flesh - the only thing that's worth the sweat  
__From the day that Eve did Adam  
__Down to Romeo and Juliet,  
__Everybody gotta have..."_

Raven's mind was racing. For the first time in a long time she didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to run screaming from this club. A much larger part wanted to take Deacon's hand and lead him somewhere where they could be alone. She settled for wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself closer.

"_And so my love, this story's told  
__From modern times to days of old  
__From Boston, Mass to Bangladesh  
__Yeah, when the night comes  
__Everybody gotta have Flesh"_

Deacon smiled, she was a fast learner. He slid his hands over her back to rest right above her butt. The temptation to slide them lower was strong but he curbed it, just barely. His manhood was throbbing by this point and he knew she could feel his arousal as she moved against him. He could smell the spike in her scent. Her blue eyes were on fire. However, he knew better than to rush this. He wanted her to want him so bad she would beg, not that she'd need to.

"_It's got me all soakin' wet  
__Flesh - the only think that's worth the sweat, yeah  
__From the Mississippi River  
__To the highest mountain in Tibet  
__Everybody gotta have..."_

As the guitar solo began he kissed her, amazed when she whimpered and pushed herself even closer. He finally gave into the temptation and ran his hands lower cupping her butt and pulled her pelvis tight against his. He was thankful that he had led her to a corner of the dance floor so not many people could see them. He didn't give a damn who saw them but he knew Raven wasn't quite so uninhibited.

His tongue parted her lips and her hand fisted itself in his hair. The smell of her arousal was much stronger now and he realized that she had wanted him to kiss her as much as he had wanted to hiss her. His head was swimming with the pink haze surrounding them. It felt a bit like being drunk.

"_Flesh - you got me all soakin' wet  
__Flesh - the only thing that's worth the sweat  
__Flesh, you got me all soakin' wet  
__Flesh - the only thing, the only thing, the only thing  
__From a Sufi in a rickshaw to a bimbo in a pink corvette  
__Everybody gotta have...  
__...Flesh"_

"Deacon," her voice was soft and needy. It was almost his undoing. But he remembered his plan. She had to ask him. After what those men had done to her he wouldn't rush her. He mentally shook himself, this soul mate crap sucked. Since when did he care what anyone else was feeling?

"Deac," Deacon looked over his shoulder and saw Quinn standing nearby. He almost growled. "Sorry to interrupt, man, but we got what you wanted. I tried your cell but Mercury has it." He looked at Raven. "Hi, I'm Quinn."

"Good," Deacon said willing his body to calm down. When he regained control of himself he turned to face his friend and second in command. "Do you have an address?"

"Yeah, all of 'em," Quinn nodded. "You want me to leave them on your desk?"

"No, this is something I should take care of now." He turned back to Raven. "As long as you don't mind."

"Go ahead, I'll catch up with the others." He leaned down and kissed her slowly. "Deacon?" she whispered so softly even he had a little trouble hearing her.

"Mmm?"

"You aren't going to do something evil are you?"

"Baby, evil is all that's left in the world," he pointed out gently.

"Yeah, but… I mean something bad that has to do with me."

Why'd she have to be so damn smart? Well, it was easy to lie about this. "No, I'm not going to do anything evil." _Depending on what you call evil._ To Deacon this was actually a good deed.

"Okay," she didn't look a hundred percent convinced but another kiss distracted her.

"I'll see you at home."


	6. Momentary Lapse of Emotion

Author's Note- This story is set during the Blade movie. Therefore the cure was created. However, Deacon didn't go through with the La Magra plot after the battle. The Night World catered to his needs so he had no need to be a god.

Momentary Lapse of Emotion

_I let my guard down  
__In a momentary lapse of emotion  
__And it just slipped out  
__That we both knew my heart could be broke  
__I said something I never intended to say  
__You stopped laughing  
__And asked me, 'do you feel alone in that way' _

_Do you trip on love  
__Do you run from magic  
__When you kiss someone  
__Do you make it tragic  
__If you feel too much  
__Do you start to panic  
__When your word comes out  
__Do you trip on love  
_-Abra Moore

"What was that all about?" Ash asked.

"What was what all about?" Raven asked.

"I believe my soul mate is talking about that kiss," Mary Lynnette said.

Ash smirked at both of them. "Actually, I'm talking about that dance too." His eyes widened suddenly. "He's your soul mate."

Raven blinked. "What?"

"He is. Raven, you really like to do things the hard way."

Mary-Lynnette snorted. "That's an understatement. Is he your soul mate?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Deacon is… he's not like you, Ash. There's no soft cuddly side there."

Ash stiffened. "I am _not _soft and cuddly." Both girls looked at him, amused, then ignored him.

"You think Ash was like this before?" Mary-Lynnette asked. "This took years of training."

"I'm standing right here," Ash growled.

"Yes, dear," Mary-Lynnette said patting his hand. "Well, I'm ready to get out of here and to somewhere where we can actually hear each other talk." Ash nodded and led them into the back and down into the basement.

"What are we doing?" Raven asked.

"It's not exactly safe or smart for Daybreakers to drive or even walk on the streets. Thus we have tunnels."

"Smart," Raven said impressed.

"Your boyfriend's idea," Ash said. "Since we're working for him he wanted us to be able to move around."

At the penthouse

"Do you want to take care of the former vampire and the girl first?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, let's go visit our old friends," Deacon smirked.

"We already took care of the vampire, like you asked," Quinn told him as they walked to the holding cell. When they got in Hannibal King was crouched in a corner flinching away from Abagail.

"Here," Deacon held out a glass of blood. Hannibal swatted at him. "Do you want to eat or not?" Deacon looked across at Quinn. "I forgot how annoying fledglings are. This is why I don't turn any one now."

"Hannibal, please," Abigail pleaded taking the glass from Deacon and holding it out to Hannibal. He looked up at her and took it chugging it down.

"Oh, god…"

"And how are you two today?" Deacon inquired.

"Go to hell, Frost," Abigail snapped.

"Now that's just not nice," Deacon announced.

"Not at all," Quinn agreed.

"Come on, Quinn," Deacon said. "Let's leave the lovebirds alone." The two walked out. Abigail hurled the glass at the bars. It shattered uselessly on the ground.

"That helped," Hannibal drawled. "Maybe next time you should throw it closer so we have glass all over the floor that we step on."

"Shut up," Abigail growled.

"I always liked him," Deacon smirked as they walked out. To his surprise Raven was sitting in the kitchen with Ash and Mary-Lynnette drinking a cup of blood.

"Hi," Raven said looking up.

"It can wait until tomorrow," Deacon said aside to Quinn knowing that Raven would know that something was going on if he left now and not wanting her to have anything to do with what he was about to do.

"Sure thing, Deac. Not like they're going anywhere."

"I'll go show you around," Mary-Lynnette said taking Raven's arm and leading her out of the kitchen.

"So what exactly are you doing?" Ash asked.

"Did Raven tell you what happened?" Deacon asked.

"No."

"I've found the guys who caught her. I'm going to kill them."

Ash blinked. "Okay. Want some help?"

Upstairs

After touring the building Raven and Mary-Lynnette ended up in Deacon's room. "Wow," Mary-Lynnette breathed when Raven showed her all the clothes. "He went all out."

Raven sighed. "I know, who needs this much clothes?"

"Not to mention the lingerie."

"If he thinks I'm going to wear this…"

"You'd be surprised."

"You wear stuff like this?" Raven asked surprised at the thought of the reserved Mary-Lynnette wearing anything like the leather teddy they were looking at.

"Not quite like that," Mary-Lynnette laughed, "but yeah, I have worn other stuff for Ash." She smiled. "It's fun to see his reactions."

"I'm sure." Mary-Lynnette pulled out a baby blue corset looking thing with a sheer over shirt and an attached thong and held it up to the other girl.

"This is definitely your color."

"I still couldn't see wearing it."

"Yeah, but just imagine Deacon's reaction. I'd better get downstairs. You coming?"

"That's okay, I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long… three years."

"Don't I know it?" Impulsively, Mary-Lynnette hugged her. "It's great seeing you, though."

"You too." After Mary-Lynnette had left Raven walked around the room and found Deacon's CD collection, which was comprised of almost every CD known to man, from the seventies to now. She found a CD of mostly soft, melodic and… seductive music. She put the CD on and took off all of her clothes, except her underwear and put on an oversized shirt. Deacon walked in at that moment and leaned against the wall smoking a cigarette watching her with hooded eyes.

"Hi," he said his eyes drinking her in.

"I would say those will kill you but I guess that's not true. I'll go with that's a disgusting habit."

He grinned at her. "Bite me." But he went over and put the cigarette out as the song changed. "Dance with me." She placed her hand in his.


	7. Good For You

Author's Note- The song is Smokey Robinson's "You've Really Got a Hold On Me." This scene contains adult content. Please only read if you're of age.

Good For You

_Hey will you stay awhile  
__My smile will not mislead you  
__Cause I've been alone  
__My faith turned to stone  
__Still there's something in you I believe in  
__Close to the pierce I go wild and fierce  
__Still I let you be, I feel you next to me _

_Cause inside I feel a wind that starts to blow  
__I'm taken in your undertow  
__Everything is fine, I'm lonely all the time _

_Cause all I want to do is be there  
__For the things that you're going through  
__Well, is it good for you, is it good for you  
__Cause you haunt my nights when  
__I don't know where my life should go  
__Well, is it good for you, is it good for you  
_-Third Eye Blind

Deacon drew Raven close and kissed her on the nose. She wrinkled it and smiled. She felt perfect in his arms. It only took seconds of holding her as they danced for his body to be ready to take her yet again. It appeared that he couldn't control it at all around her. Raven looked into his eyes and smiled up at him finally deciding what she wanted.

"What?" he asked.

"Why don't we finish what we started earlier?"

He arched an eyebrow hearing her but not daring to believe what he was hearing. "Finish what?" She smiled up at him and slowly started unbuttoning his shirt. "Raven, are you sure about this? Once we fu- have sex there's no going back from that. I don't want you to do this if you aren't ready for it."

She looked a little disappointed. "Somehow I pictured your reaction being somewhat different."

"Don't fool yourself, honey," Deacon grinned, "I just want to make sure you're ready because I want you to enjoy it so much you'll want to do it many, many more times."

"I see," Raven smiled.

He looked down at her. "So, you're sure?"

"A hundred percent." He immediately swept her up into his arms and deposited her on the bed. "I take it you're up for it." He blinked realizing that she didn't know what she had just said, or at least the implication. With a grin he took her hand and guided it to his erection.

"What do you think, sweetheart?"

She blushed looking down not letting her mind wonder to the question of how that would even fit inside of her. "Deacon… you know that I've never-"

"Yeah."

"And…" she trailed off not knowing how to voice her fears, "you aren't disappointed that I don't know what you want me to do?"

He snorted at that. "Hell no. Baby, I want you in any way I can have you. If you're not ready, I may not be thrilled but I can handle it." He let his eyes sweep over her. "If you do want me though, I'm perfectly happy to be with you." He brushed her hair out of her eyes so he could look into the deep blue.

"Will you go slow?" Raven asked tentatively.

He fought the urge to sigh. He had to be a gentleman here, something he hadn't had much experience with. He wanted her to be comfortable with what they were doing so she could relax and enjoy herself. "Yes."

"Okay then, I think I'm ready." He smiled; it was so much unlike his normal smile. It was gentle and sweet. It made him look less like the evil vampire he was and more like the man he must have been. "So now what?"

"_I don't like you  
__But I love you  
__Seems like I'm always thinking of you  
__Oh, oh, oh," _

Now he grinned a mischievous grin. "Well, I figured we'd start out like this," he kissed her slowly lowering her to the bed, "see where that gets us."

She giggled wrapping her arms around his neck. "I think we both know where that's leading."

"Yeah, probably."

Deacon kissed her again running his hands over her thighs. She didn't seem to be scared at all, which thrilled him. He definitely didn't want her to be scared during her first time, plus the more at ease she was the more likely he was at getting a repeat performance. "Your skin is so soft. I could touch you forever." Raven met his eyes and took her shirt off. Deacon smiled. She was taking charge, at least a little, that was a wonderful sign for their future. If she was this bold now…

Raven trembled a little as he looked her over. Never before had a man seen her shirtless the examiner at the auction was female and the hunters hadn't had the chance. They had realized that a virgin would fetch a higher price. The way he was looking at her had her body feeling heavy and hot. "Beautiful," he whispered as though sensing her unease. "You're perfect, completely perfect." He kissed her lips lingeringly then traced his mouth to her earlobe sucking on it softly before nipping it causing a gasp.

He moved on nipping at her neck before reaching his goal and cupping her breast while running his tongue over the areole. She gasped her entire body jumping. He chuckled before suckling her breast. Raven moaned quietly moving under him restlessly. He pulled away making her sigh in disappointment. He ripped his shirt off like the hero in a cheesy romance novel.

She stared at his pale chest for a few minutes before running her hands over his chest gently, exploring the planes of his chest and sliding them down over his stomach. He sighed at the gentle contact. His Raven, she was so gentle and kind, the complete opposite of every other woman he had been with. He went back to his task sucking the other breast while his hands began to slide over her thighs spreading them.

"_You treat me badly  
__I love you madly  
__You've really got a hold on me  
__You've really got a hold on me" _

She ran her hand over his back making him shiver. Again, she was so different than the other women. Mercury would be scratching his back, probably drawing blood, demanding to be fucked. Raven was simply watching him, giving him her trust. She seemed to know that he was taking his time, trying to please her. He didn't want to feel what he felt for her and he blamed the stupid soul mate thing.

However, if this was the woman he was meant to be with the fates could have done worse. Raven was beautiful, and real. She was honest and sweet. Granted he would have preferred her to be a bit darker he could learn to… like her. He slowly drew her panties down. He looked at her and arched his eyebrows. "You shave?"

She blushed. "It's more comfortable."

He smiled climbing back over her. "Are you sure you weren't planning on seducing me?"

"Ha!"

He kissed her. Even her lips were soft. Deacon opened them with his own to deepen the kiss. Raven sighed melting into his arms. No other girl had ever reacted to one of his kisses like this.

"_I don't want you,  
__But I need you  
__Don't wanna kiss you  
__But I need to" _

Deacon looked at her seriously. "Do you trust me?"

She smiled faintly. "I'm starting to."

"Good enough." He regarded her seriously. "Is there anything you want me to do?" He grinned engagingly. "Consider me your eager servant tonight."

"I like that thought, but… I've never done this, I don't know what I'm doing." She looked away briefly but her eyes went back to him. "I guess I want you to teach me what to do."

"All I want you to do this time is relax and let me lead."

"But-"

"This is your first time, baby, I just want to make it special. Tomorrow we'll learn lots of things about each other." He ran his hand over her thigh teasingly. "So, what do you say?"

She smiled up at him. There was such loving trust in her eyes it made his chest ache. "I say I'm all yours… for tonight."

"_You do me wrong now  
__My love is strong now  
__You've really got a hold on me  
__You've really got a hold on me" _

"So beautiful." His lips played over the soft ivory skin of her breasts before he took one nipple into his mouth suckling it until she arched herself into his mouth. He used one hand to brace himself. The other was free to roam over her skin, teasing the other nipple, and tracing every curve of her body. His mouth switched sides and she gasped.

"Deacon," she murmured. She had never felt like this before, but she knew he wasn't even close to being done. As she was distracted his hand drifted down. "Please..." She didn't know what she wanted but she found out when his finger parted her lips and entered her. "Oh, my." His chuckle was muffled by her breast.

"_I love you and all that I want you to do  
__Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me"_

He slowly kissed his way down her stomach, dipping his tongue into her belly button, before reaching his goal. He gently hoisted her legs over his shoulders and breathed in her essence. She moaned, quite loud when his tongue found her clit and he suckled it gently as his fingers continued exploring her.

She was so tight that he was a little worried; he could tell she hadn't even pleasured herself. He knew what he was about to do would hurt no matter how ready she was. He was a shadow in her mind, using the soul mate link, carefully monitoring her, making sure she was enjoying everything.

Raven could feel her body building to something, reaching out for something. _Let yourself go, baby, I'm here to catch you_, Deacon had never used telepathy but talking to her like that was instinct. Stars danced behind her eyes and she cried out as she came apart. He smiled with satisfaction even as he removed the last of his clothing.

"Oh, wow."

"_Don't wanna leave you  
__Don't wanna stay here  
__Don't wanna spend another day here" _

He moved over her. "This part will hurt," he whispered hoarsely as he began to ease inside her. She winced at the penetration. "Jesus, you're so tight. So small." He bit her neck pretty hard; which served as a pretty good distraction as he thrust all the way in. She whimpered recoiling a bit. He could feel the panic building in her, she just knew that he was too big, that this couldn't work. "It's okay, baby, you're okay. Just relax. I won't move until you want me to. I promise." That was pretty much the hardest promise he had ever made. It was definitely the hardest he had ever kept.

"I think I'm okay," she whispered tremblingly. He groaned with relief and began moving again.

"Fuck, you feel so damn good," he whispered in her ear. "So wet and hot… and so fuckin' tight. Nothing has ever felt this good."

"Deacon," she murmured. She was beginning to relax and even move with him a little. He ran his hands over her thighs before wrapping them around his waist groaning as that brought him even deeper inside her. Every sensation was heightened by the pink haze that surrounded them.

"_Oh, I just don't fit now  
__I just can quit now  
__You've really got a hold on me  
__You've really got a hold on me, baby"_

"Raven," he murmured into her hair. She was his only his. He growled nipping at her neck and ear, anywhere he could reach. He could feel her body tensing again. To his complete shock she came again clutching him and pulling him into his own release. He could have sworn he blacked out for a moment as he collapsed on top of her.

"_I love you and all that I want you to do  
__Is just hold me" _

Both laid for a few seconds simply catching their breath then Deacon rolled over. He laid still trying to slow his heart and breathing. So that was what the soul mate principle was for. After that he realized that he could never be with another girl. In one moment Raven had just ruined him for other women.

Raven watched him lying there. He had made her feel so loved, so cherished. Now she felt so alone. Had she disappointed him? Why wouldn't he look at her? Had she been that bad? She reached out and touched his hand. He pulled it away but pulled her into his arms.

"_Hold me, hold me, hold me"_


	8. Why Do You Chew Your Pain?

Author's Note- Some adult content at the end of the chappie, just a warning.

Why Do You Chew Your Pain?

_The gray ceiling on the earth  
__Well it's lasted for a while  
__Take my thoughts for what they're worth  
__I've been acting like a child  
__In your opinion, and what is that?  
__It's just a different point of view_

_What else can I do?  
__I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.  
__I said I'm sorry , but for?  
__If I hurt you then I hate myself  
__Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you _

_Why do you chew your pain?  
__If you only know how much I love you, love you  
__I won't be your winter  
__I won't be anyone's excuse to cry  
__We can be forgiven  
__I will be here  
_-Sister Hazel

Deacon woke up much earlier than he usually did. He stretched languidly and looked at the ceiling. What had woken him up? He looked down at the bed but Raven was gone. He frowned and stood crossing over to the bathroom. The water was running and he could faintly hear the sounds of her crying.

Twenty minutes earlier

Raven got up wincing with the movement and grabbed some clothes, heading into the shower. As she washed her body, cleaning a few drops of blood off her legs she burst into tears. He wasn't what she wanted. He was evil. There was no way they could last in a relationship, much less build a healthy one.

Deacon Frost was cold, calculating, and cruel. She wanted a nice guy. Why couldn't he be like Morgead who only pretended to be bad? Deacon didn't wear a mask. He was just cold. Last night though… but that wasn't the real him. She had given herself to the devil.

Her world was in shambles. Everything was wrong. He didn't love her, Raven had her doubts that he could. How could she have made love to a man who didn't love her. This was going nowhere, and it hurt too much. She just wanted a soul mate who shared her values, loved her, who would be her best friend. Why couldn't Jez be there? She needed her best friend to either tell her she was being silly or tell her that she was right.

_Raven_? The voice was unknown so she blocked it out. _Baby, I can feel your pain. What is it?_

_Deacon?_

_What's wrong? Talk to me._

_There's nothing that you can do._

_Bullshit. _She heard the door open.

_I **know** I didn't invite you in here._

_Are you done?_

_Yes, leave so I can get dressed. _He laughed. She could hear it with her ears and her mind.

_Woman, last night I touched and kissed every inch of your body. It's a little late to get all embarrassed. _

She reached out for her towel and he handed it to her. She wrapped it around herself and stepped out. Oh, God, he was naked. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore his naked body. "Would you mind leaving so I can get dressed?" Politeness couldn't hurt, and maybe he'd respond better.

"Yeah, actually I would. You were crying."

"Deacon-"

"I want to know what I did to make you cry."

"Nothing. It's just stupid girl stuff."

His face darkened slightly. "I don't like being lied to and you're terrible at it anyways."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do. Or do my feelings not matter?"

Her eyes flashed at him as she crossed her arms over her towel. "Don't you dare use the feelings card!"

"Am I not allowed to have feelings?" he asked innocently. He was baiting her and knew it, but he had to figure out what was bothering her somehow. If it took pissing her off so be it.

"No, you're not."

"I believe that I proved last night that I do have some feelings." She just glared at him. He softened a little bit knowing that something must really be bothering her. Raven hadn't cried when he found her, or even when she told him what had been done to her. For whatever this is to be actually making her cry it must be important to her. "I can't fix it if you won't even tell me what's wrong."

Raven sighed. "Ever think that maybe it's not your problem to fix? Maybe it's mine."

"Then let me help. I don't like seeing you cry."

"Damn it," she muttered feeling tears fill her eyes again. He floundered for a second. Would she want him to hold her or stay away? He steeled himself and pulled her into his arms. She cuddled closer and laid her head on his chest.

"Please don't cry."

"I hate you sometimes."

He smiled. "I told you, you're a terrible liar. And why is it that you're always talking about how much you hate me when I'm trying to be nice?"

She sighed. "Because things are so much easier when you're an ass and I can hate you."

"Why not try liking me?"

"I spent years fighting for the good guys… to be with you… I'm not asking you to change. I couldn't do that, but I don't want to change either. We both know who we are, we're adults. How can we possibly build a relationship when we have absolutely no core values in common?"

He nuzzled her neck playfully nipping the nape, making her gasp. "Why must it be a relationship with you women?"

"Deacon."

"Okay. Listen up, the way the world is right now… it's too unsure. Why not just see how it goes?"

"See how it goes?"

"Maybe we're compatible, maybe not. Why not try?"

"But you're evil."

He rolled his eyes. "And you're good. I don't go around complaining about that, now do I?"

She had to smile. "No."

"Alright, so…"

"Let's see how it goes."

"That's my girl. You feel okay?"

"Huh?" He gave her an obvious once over so she knew what he meant. "Oh, yeah."

He grinned wickedly. "Good." He grabbed the edge of the towel the tore if off of her.

"Deacon Frost! Give me my towel!"

"Take it," he smirked holding it behind his back and stepping into the doorway. She had to press herself against him to reach behind him. "Raven?" She looked up and he kissed her.

"Cheat. That was just so you could kiss me."

"No, I could kiss you anyhow. That was just so I could feel you against me." He kissed her again dropping the towel so he could run his hands over her curves. She melted against him. "You're so responsive."

"You're very good at what you do."

He laughed before looking at her hungrily. "I'd very much like to make love to you." She blushed. "May I?"

"I don't think you've ever asked anyone for anything."

"It's a strange experience," he admitted. "So…?"

She giggled. "Take me, I'm yours." He lifted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. "You seem very happy."

"I've been thinking about you and this moment since I got up. Yeah, I'm looking forward to being with you again." He carried her to his bed and they fell onto it.

"Deacon, I'm soaked."

He slid a finger into her smirking. "I can tell."

She shuddered. "Not what I meant."

"I know, I don't care." He looked into her eyes and he slid into her. Raven moaned softly her body arching into his. "Mine," he murmured his voice a low growl as he moved. She ran her nails lightly up his back. His eyes went back to hers.

"Mine," she whispered. He rolled onto his back taking her with him so she was poised on top of him. "Deacon?"

"It's all yours, baby." She smiled and started moving on him as though she had been doing it forever. He laid back watching the entrancing sight of Raven riding him. He reached up and tweaked her nipples, which caused her to gasp and move faster. His finish was quickly approaching. Raven suddenly cried out shuddering around him. He rolled them over again and kissed her and he pounded his own way to release. The two laid together panting.

"That's wasn't quite what I was planning on doing today," Raven said.

"Funny, that's _exactly _what I was planning on doing today," Deacon smirked. "Come here, sweetheart." She crawled into his arms and settled down. "I'm going to teach you to let your hair down and relax if it kills me."

"That's not a good way to word that," she pointed out.

"Probably not," he agreed, " but I'm sticking with it."

"What fates decided we would be perfect together?" Raven asked tracing an idle pattern on his chest.

"Don't know," Deacon said. "Whoever they were has a sick sense of humor… or they just knew how good we'd be in bed."

"Aren't you full of yourself?"

"Yes. But after last night and today I think I deserve to be a little cocky."

He did, but she'd never admit that. "Sure."

"Time to nap," Deacon said. "I definitely need a nap."

"Yes," she agreed. "Deacon?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. I… I don't know how to thank you enough."

"Just seeing you actually smiling goes a long way. Besides, it's not like I'm getting nothing out of this deal."

Raven smiled closing her eyes tiredly. "True."

"Now go to sleep."


	9. Insatiable

Insatiable

W_hen moonlight crawls along the street  
__Chasing away the summer heat  
__Footsteps outside somewhere below  
__The world revolves I let it go  
__We build our church above this street  
__We practice love between the sheets  
__The candy sweetness scent of you  
__It bathes my skin I'm stained by you  
__And all I have to do is hold you  
__There's a racing in my heart  
__I am barely touching you  
_-Darren Hayes

They woke up late in the evening just to make love again. Deacon ignored the ringing of his phone all night until finally someone left a message. "Deac, Hannibal wants to speak to us. I figured you're busy but whenever you're ready come downstairs." Deacon growled and stumbled out of bed.

"I'll be right back," he said kissing Raven. "Don't you dare get dressed."

Raven just yawned. "I don't think I could even move right now."

"Good." He threw on a pair of boxers and some jeans before meeting Quinn in the foyer. "What is so damn important that you had to interrupt the best fuckin' night of my whole fuckin' life?"

"I told you," Quinn said nervously. "But I did say that it could wait."

"I know, I'm just eager to get back to bed."

Quinn grinned at that. "I understand."

"Let's go see what the lap dog wants." The two walked into the cell where Hannibal was sitting in front of it.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"What?"

"Abagail, where is she? I woke up and she was gone. I know one of your goons took her." Deacon opened the cell and stepped inside. Abagail was indeed gone.

"Huh."

Hannibal's eyes narrowed. "That's all you fucking have to say?"

"Watch your fuckin' language. My men know better than to cross me."

"Amen to that," Quinn nodded.

"Now, if you want to find your girlfriend, lets go." Hannibal glared at Deacon but followed him. The trio got everyone up and questioned them harshly to no avail. Finally, they were left alone.

"Are you saying your men had nothing to do with this?"

"Obviously someone took her," Deacon shrugged. "There's no point in me locking you up. If you want to look for her or who took her be my guest. I want to know who disobeyed me."

"I can search your place with no backlash?"

"Yes. Just tell me who did it."

"Okay."

"Quinn, show him to a room."

"Okay," Quinn nodded. "When do you want to take care of that business?"

"Tomorrow, I guess. It's almost daylight." Quinn nodded and led Hannibal away. By the time Deacon got back to his room Raven was asleep clutching Mr. Whiskers who purred in a steady mantra. Deacon shook his head, that cat really was a terrible vampire. Suddenly tired himself, he crawled into bed wrapping his body around hers. He realized, as sleep came that he'd kill to keep this feeling.

Raven awoke the next evening alone. She stretched languidly, before going into the bathroom and taking a quick shower. Once she was dressed she went down the stairs and into the kitchen where a familiar face sat at the table. "Nilson?" she asked surprised.

"Ah, Raven," a smile touched his face, "you are a sight for sore eyes. Ash told me that you were found. How have you managed to keep yourself alive?"

"Sheer dumb luck. How did you end up here?" she asked sitting in front of him and another man.

"The same." The man next to Nilson cleared his throat. "My apologies. Raven, this is Hannibal King. He's looking for a friend."

"She's your height, brown hair, pretty," Hannibal said. "Have you seen her?"

"Sorry," Raven said.

"Did you see or hear anything last night?" he was almost pleading. Raven's heart ached for him.

"I was… in bed all night. If I see or hear anything, I'll let you know."

"Thanks. Doesn't really matter, though. Odds are pretty damn good that she's dead. Otherwise, she'd be doing a lot of damage to whoever took her.

"I'm sorry."

"I'd settle for finding the ass who took her. That would make me very happy."

"Unfortunately, Miss Raven will not be hearing much of anything."

Hannibal just stared at Nilson for a few moments. "Why?"

"I doubt if they'd tell their leader's paramour about breaking his rules."

"You're with Deacon?" Hannibal looked shocked. "But why?"

"That would be a very long, very involved story that I don't want to get into right now."

"I can respect that. However, I have to ask. What the hell do you see in him?"

Raven sensed Deacon when he entered the room behind her. "He's hot," she quipped.

"Is that all I am to you?" he grumbled good-naturedly, stepping behind her and pulling her against him. "Just a pretty face on an amazing body?"

"Yep," she smiled leaning against him.

Deacon turned to Hannibal. "Have you found anything?"

"No."

"We're back so Quinn can help you."

"I don't need Tex's help. I can manage, thank you."

"Someone is blatantly disobeying my laws. She wasn't to be touched. Therefore, Quinn will help you. Be grateful you aren't still in the fuckin' cage."

"Fine, I don't see what good tall, dark, and stupid will do but fine."

"Can I kill him?" Raven turned and saw Quinn standing beside Deacon.

"Now, now, let's learn to play nice, ladies," Deacon said sliding into the seat beside Raven. "So, Hannibal, how does it feel to be one of us again?"

"You mean being your lackey? Better than Elvira's but I think I still would have passed."

"Good thing you didn't have a chance then."

Hannibal frowned but didn't respond to that. He got to his feet and faced Quinn. "Let's go, Tex." Not looking pleased Quinn followed

"They're going to kill each other," Raven observed as Nilson excused himself.

"Maybe," Deacon shrugged.

"You seem really worried." She leaned in to kiss him before frowning thoughtfully.

"What is it?"

"You smell like blood."

"I fed today."

"No… it's…" she sniffed him daintily. "It's too strong for that."

"You aren't a golden retriever, stop sniffing me."

"Sorry… what did you do tonight?"

"Business. Now I believe that you were about to do this." He tugged her close and kissed her thoroughly.

"You're trying to distract me."

"Is it working?"

"A little, but I'd still like to know what you did."

Deacon stood and locked all the doors leading into the kitchen. "That's better."

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure no one comes in."

"I got that with the locking of the doors. Why?" Deacon sat down on the table resting his legs on the arms of the chair she was sitting in.

"Well, I personally don't give a damn about who walk in on us. I know that you aren't quite as… open as I am."

"You want to have sex in the kitchen."

"Wrong. I want to have sex in every room of the house. This is a good start."

Raven stared at him in disbelief. "We can't-"

"Sure we can. And don't pretend you aren't interested. Soul mate link- remember? The doors are locked so no one will come in, if they value their lives." He crooked a finger at her. A little nervous, she stood and he kicked the chair away.

"No one will see us?"

"Scouts honor." She just stared at him. "What?"

"You may have eaten boy scouts but I have a hard time believing that you were ever one yourself."

He grinned, complete with fang. "So maybe helping little old ladies across the street isn't my shtick." He leaned down and his lips found a spot on her neck that almost made her knees give out. "But I'm very persistent." He nipped at her earlobe. "And I have a very good worth ethic." He kissed her lips with leisure, enjoying the feeling.

Raven pulled away. "I want to lead."

Deacon raised an eyebrow in surprise before smiling. "As you wish." Raven's teeth worried her lower lip for a moment. This was foreign territory. "You may want to start with taking off our clothes."

"No talk," she admonished playfully. He smiled, liking this side of her. She pulled her own shirt over her head before shimmying out of her skirt. She ran her hands over his shoulders lightly before sliding them down his chest and over his belly. Just as they were about to come in contact with someplace interesting she changed direction sliding her hand under his shirt and over the planes of his chest before lifting the shirt completely off of him.

She leaned in nipping his neck with her fangs. "Mine," she growled softly. He reached out and gripped her chin raising it so they were eye to eye. The kiss he gave her was so soul searing it made her feel weak. "I thought I was going to lead."

"My apologies," he said not looking sorry at all. She met his gaze as her hands went to his fly. She drew it down and unbuttoned the pants before drawing them and his boxers down as well. Deacon laughed at her frustrated curse when they got stuck since his shoes were still on.

"Keep laughing and I'll make you eat this shoe." He only laughed harder as she finally got them off. "Are you quite done, Mr. Frost?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smirked. "But here I am naked and you aren't. May I remedy that?"

She tossed her hair with feigned haughtiness. "Very well." He got to his feet and reached around her to undo the clasp to her bra. He drew it off slowly.

"May I kiss you, my mistress?"

She giggled at that. "If you must." All bravado faded as his lips closed over her nipple and his hand drifted down to tease her. He backed off after a few moments and straightened. "Table or floor?"

He smiled. "Table so every time you sit here with your friends you'll think of this moment." She nodded shoving him lighting so he fell onto the table. He pulled himself up a bit as she climbed over him.

"The floor would have been easier."

He shrugged. "Probably." He helped her position herself over him. Both groaned at their joining. It's your show, baby." She smiled leaning in to kiss him quickly before sliding herself up and plunging down. "Fuck."

"Language," she gasped unsteadily as she started moving faster. Quickly, she found a rhythm that had both of them crying out whenever she moved. They came together before collapsing in a heap on the table. "Wow."

"Yeah. That covers it. The others probably want to get in here."

"Shh… I'm basking."

He laughed holding her tightly as she snuggled against his chest. "A few minutes won't hurt."

"Damn straight." After a few moments she sat up. "If I lay here any more I know I'm going to fall asleep."

Deacon got to his feet watching her as she got dressed. "You go ahead, I'm going to clean up in here." She nodded and left once he had put his jeans on. She ran into Hannibal and Quinn in the foyer. The two were standing arguing. "Hi guys."

"Hi," Hannibal said looking away from Quinn. "Where's Frost?"

"Here," Deacon said coming out. "What's up?"

"He thinks Jayce did it," Quinn said.

"He looked guilty," Hannibal argued.

"Get him and meet me in my office," Deacon said. The duo left.

"As nice as it is being your… lover I need something to do when you're out," Raven told him.

"We'll figure something out," he assured her.

"In the meantime I'm going to head up to our room."

"'Our room'?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"It's where my stuff is and where I'm staying so, yeah, our room." She kissed him lightly and got into the elevator. Deacon smiled faintly watching her until she was gone.


	10. Someone Else

Someone Else

_Trying hard to think pure  
__Bloody hard when I'm raw  
__You talking out so sexually  
__'bout boys 'n girls and your friggin' dreams  
__So now you feel lusty  
__You're hot and confused  
__So now you've been busted  
__You're caught feeling used _

_You had to do someone else  
__You should've been by yourself  
__Instead of here with me  
__Secretly  
_-SkunkAnansie

He walked to his office and sat down at his desk putting his feet up on it. Quinn and Hannibal pushed Jayce into the room.

"Sit," Deacon ordered. Jayce obeyed looking around nervously. "Account for where you were last night and tell me who can substantiate it."

"I was out, and I didn't get the names of everyone around me."

Jayce had been Deacon's employee for over a hundred years. Deacon himself had turned the young man. "You've been with me long enough to know the low tolerance I have for betrayal and lying. I suggest you tell me where you were before I lose my temper."

"I told you-"

"You really aren't very smart, are you?" Deacon asked. "I want to know_ where _you were 'out' does not answer that question."

"At your club."

"That narrows it down to ten buildings in this city," Deacon said rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. He hadn't moved, still sitting with his feet propped up showing no emotion something he knew was making Jayce nervous. "Get a little more specific."

"I was at the Habitat."

"That's better. I'm sure that the video tapes of last night will be able to confirm that." Jayce's eyes widened before he wiped the emotion from his face. Deacon arched an eyebrow at the younger vampire. "Something wrong?"

"No."

Deacon watched him closely. "Good. Well, you can go for now, but don't leave the building."

"Of course." Jayce left hurriedly.

"You let him go?" Hannibal demanded.

"Do you think it was him?" Quinn asked.

"King, follow him, be discrete," Deacon said. "He's sure as hell hiding something." Hannibal left. "Quinn, take the rest of the night off. Go do whatever the fuck it is you do for fun."

"Thanks, Deac. I'll see you tomorrow." Deacon got up after Quinn had left. He crossed over to a wall and hit a panel opening it. TV screens showing virtually every room in the building came to life.

In one Mary-Lynnette and Ash sat in bed reading together. In another Nilson sat writing in a small notebook. Another showed Raven sitting in his living room; Mr. Whiskers curled up on her lap. He saw Quinn leaving with Mercury and a few others. Finally, he saw who he was looking for. Jayce was heading down a hallway towards a storage room. He kept glancing over his shoulder worriedly.

"No, you have nothing to hide," Deacon murmured. He opened the door and went inside. Deacon shut the wall and exited the room. Halfway to the storage room he ran into Hannibal. "Lose your quarry?"

"I let him get too far ahead of me."

"Follow me."

"Why are you being so… nice?" Hannibal asked the question that had been plaguing him since he and Abagail had been caught.

"I blame Raven," Deacon said honestly. "She has this… weird calming effect on me. You tell anyone that and I'll kill you."

"Understood." They got to the storage room and Deacon kicked the door open. Jayce turned and growled at them.

"Abagail!" Hannibal exclaimed rushing to her. "Are you okay?" Her eyes widened as she saw the two of them.

"Untie me so I can kill this son of a bitch," she growled.

"So… Jayce… do you have anything you'd like to tell me?" Deacon asked almost cordially.

"Deacon, I-" He never got to finish because Abagail was lose and she grabbed a knife and stabbed him through the heart.

"You are real lucky that you've been through some major shit," Deacon growled. "But for future reference, _I_ am the boss. Got it?"

"Whatever," Abagail said brushing the dust off her clothes.

"Listen, little girl, you are only alive right now because I allowed the kid here to search for you. I could have left you to die and it wouldn't have bothered me. I suggest you remember that. Hannibal, take care of her, I'm going to bed."

One month later

Deacon had expected that soon he'd grow tired of his soul mate. He was dismayed to find that time only increased his desire for Raven. Business was booming and life was good. He'd get up early in the evening, shower with his lovely girl. He'd then work, checking over the books, meeting with the stockholders. Raven showed an aptitude for business so he put her to work with Ash and Mary-Lynnette. He'd eat with Quinn, Ash and the others and usually retire early.

Deacon slowly started to panic. This wasn't right. He didn't even lust for other women. Here he was at one of his clubs where women were dancing, wearing bikinis that would be illegal at most beaches. Blood was spraying down onto them, coating their bodies and he wasn't even interested. Mercury walked over to him. "Hey, Deac, haven't seen you around lately."

"I know," he said. "I heard you helped Raven pick out her outfit a while back. Thanks."

"She needed all the help I could give her," Mercury said with a laugh. "How are things?"

He knew what she was asking and smiled. "Good." He let her lead him back to the back where a couch sat.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Deac, every one has noticed that you aren't the same. You've changed."

"I have not."

Mercury leaned back and arched an eyebrow. "Bullshit."

"Merc, I'm still the same guy I was," he argued. She just started at him. "Okay… maybe things are a little different now."

"A little? You weren't even flirting with Emelia. I don't care what you do. I'm just worried that the guys might start to doubt your strength since you have this obvious weakness."

Deacon's eyes narrowed dangerously and Mercury winced. "'Obvious weakness'?"

"You know what I mean. She's nowhere near strong enough to fight off one of our guys and you know damn well that at the first sign of weakness some of them are going to be looking to take over."

"Gee, you mean they don't love me?" Deacon asked mockingly.

"I'm being serious. I'm just worried, okay? Everyone knows how you feel about her, so if they're going to strike, it'll be through her."

"Everyone knows 'how I feel?'" Deacon asked. "And how is it that fuckin' I feel, Mercury?"

Mercury flinched, she knew that this was dangerous ground. Deacon wouldn't kill her for overstepping her bounds as he would some but that didn't mean he wouldn't strike out. "Deac, I don't want to fight with you. It's bad enough to lose you to this girl I don't want to lose you completely."

"And who says you've lost me at all?"

"Don't fuck with me, I know you'd never-" He kissed her. "Deacon, what are you doing?"

"I'm fuckin' sick of every one knowing what I'm doing or should be doing. I'm my own man. I'm not part of a fuckin' couple. No one owns me." He crushed his lips to hers again. This time she responded wrapping her arms around him. They tumbled back onto the couch.

"You really want to do this here?"

Deacon laughed at that. "Hell no. Let's get out of here. There's a couple rooms in the back."

Later, as he lied on the edge of the bed snoring lightly Mercury sat up just watching him. He still hadn't been able to go through with it, just as she'd figured. He really was in love with this girl. Stupid soul mate link. She touched his hair lightly. She had loved him, as much as she knew how.

With a sigh she settled down onto the bed. She didn't want to let him go, but she wasn't going to be one of those girls that went crazy to keep their man. She had her pride. Besides, by pushing him she'd only push him away. Deacon Frost did not respond well to pressure. She could settle for being his friend and watching his back. Even if it was hard to watch him day after day with another woman.

At the penthouse

Raven paced holding Mr. Whiskers in her arms. It was long past dawn. Where was he? She finally sat down on an over stuffed chair. "He'd better be hurt," Raven told the drowsing cat, "or else he will be." The cat merely purred. "Why did I let myself fall in love with a man like him?" Mr. Whiskers just yawned stretching his body out contentedly.


	11. We'll All Fall Down

We'll All Fall Down

**_Girl_**_-  
__After a while you'll forget everything  
__It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling  
__And you'll see that it's time to move on_

**_Boy_**_-  
__I won't do that! No I won't do that!_

**_Girl_**_-  
__I know the territory, I've been around  
__It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down  
__And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around_

**_Boy_**_-  
__I won't do that! No I won't do that!  
_-Meatloaf

It was dusk when Deacon finally walked in. Raven ran to him and hugged him. "I was so worried."

"Why?" he asked stepping back slightly to look at her. Raven looked up at him confused.

"You didn't come back to your room… our room. I didn't know where you were. I was scared something had happened."

"I was out," he shrugged. Raven blinked, hurt. He ran a hand through his hair and she noticed how mussed it was. It was then that she caught the scent. Her eyes narrowed and Deacon knew that she could smell Mercury.

"Where were you?" she said slowly biting out each word.

He looked a little guilty. "I don't recall us saying that we were exclusive so what does it matter?"

She crossed her arms. "Does that mean that you won't mind if I go find one of your men and fuck them?" Her use of profanity meant one of two things. Either he was rubbing off on her or she was really, really angry. Judging by her shaking, he could lean to the latter.

"Fuck no," he growled pissed off beyond belief merely by the thought. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, let me understand what you're saying," she said her voice so soft it was deadly, "it's okay for you to screw around but not me?"

"That's not-" Deacon cut himself off and slammed his fist into the wall. "Nothing fucking happened. I was there, she was there… and I couldn't do it. All I could fuckin' see is you."

"I'm supposed to believe you?"

Deacon snorted but couldn't seem to look at her. "Honestly, I don't care what you believe. I don't want to feel this. I don't want to settle down. I liked my life the way it was."

"Do you honestly think I want to feel this? That I want you to be the only man I'll ever want to be with. I don't even like you sometimes. Do you think I want to love you?" Both froze.

"Love?" Deacon asked.

"Fuck you, Frost. Just leave me alone." She turned and walked into their room. He followed.

"Stop. Did you mean that?"

"What the does it matter?" Now there were tears in her eyes. He couldn't help but feel guilty. "I know that you don't care about me. If you did you wouldn't have even tried to sleep with Mercury."

He sighed brushing a hand exasperatedly through his hair. "I wanted to prove to myself that you didn't rule me."

"Rule you?"

"I can't do anything without thinking about you. It's like I'm obsessed." He sighed shaking his head and finally met her gaze. "The worst part is that the thought, right now, that I've hurt you is killing me."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you tried to sleep with another woman."

"I should have," he admitted.

"That's all you have to say?!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know!"

"Why are you shouting? You never shout."

"Because I'm so angry right now I want to rip your head off!"

"Can't we talk?"

"I don't want to talk. I want to hit you until you bleed." Deacon wanted to smile but knew that that wasn't the best reaction to ones girl telling them all the horrible things they wanted to do to them. It was just that Raven was usually so laid back that seeing her so angry was cute and a little arousing.

"Raven," he tried.

"No, you don't get to talk. You don't get to stand there and make excuses. You cheated on me."

"I didn't."

"Yes, you did. Even if you didn't sleep with her you had the intention of it and that was almost as bad. I just want you to know that you are not my master and if I want to leave you and here I can."

His eyes narrowed. "Where would you go? You're a wanted fugitive."

"A simple hair cut and no one would recognize me. Calypso was one of the few Night Worlders who knew who I was and she's dead. I haven't stayed with you because I needed a place to hide. I stayed here because I wanted to be with you. God knows why."

"Why are we always fighting about something?"

"Why do you hide things from me?"

"What?"

"Come on, Deacon, I'm not as stupid as you seem to believe that I am. I know that you did something that night when we made- had sex in the kitchen. Whatever it was you didn't want to tell me about it. You wouldn't have told me about this if I didn't smell her on you. Not that it matters we aren't a couple anyhow. Would you please leave, Mr. Frost? I'd like to be alone."

"No."

"Fine. I'll leave." She tried to shoulder past him but he grabbed her arm turning her back towards him.

"We're going to talk this over."

"Talk it over by yourself I have nothing else to say to you." She yanked her arm away from him. To his relief she didn't leave, she just crossed over to his desk facing the monitors not looking at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't work for this. You've hurt me. I was scared last night that maybe something had happened to you. Deep down, though, I knew better. I knew where you probably were, that's why I didn't go ask your men."

"Raven… I really am sorry."

"Are you sorry because you wish you hadn't done what you did? Or because you got caught? Or because you couldn't go through with it?"

He resisted the urge to hit something. "Fuck it, all three, okay? I… never wanted to hurt you, Raven."

"Well, you did."

"I did stop, Raven. I stopped because I couldn't imagine being with any other woman than you. Can I do anything to make it up to you?"

"I don't know." Her voice was thick and he knew that if he could see her she'd be crying. He had made her cry. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn't elbow him, step on his foot or attempt to head butt him so he counted his blessings.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"I know."

"Do you think we'll ever figure this thing out?"

"I don't know. Is love supposed to be this hard?"

The love concept bothered him but he didn't show it. "…I don't know. Are you going to leave?"

"I don't have anywhere to go, do I?" He exhaled a breath he didn't even realize that he was holding.

"I'll make this up to you, I swear."

"Deacon… I don't know if you can."

"I will." Raven sighed but leaned back into his arms.

"I hate being mad at you."

"You could stop," he offered hopefully. She managed to chuckle at that.

"Nice try. I'm suddenly very tired."

"Me too."

She turned in his arms and looked up at him. "I just want to sleep, though, nothing else."

He smiled shrugging. "I can deal with that."

"Good, 'cause I really want you to hold me. No matter how mad I am at you I always sleep best when I'm in your arms." The two climbed into bed, neither bothering to change. "No more secrets, okay? If it's important to us tell me."

"Okay. No more secrets that have to do with us."

"I know business is different. I just don't want to have this fight again."

Deacon smiled kissing the top of her head as she settled into his arms. "Don't worry, baby. I'm sure we'll have lots of different types of fights." She laughed softly nuzzling his chest and making herself comfortable.


	12. I've Grown Tired

I've Grown Tired

_I guess I've grown tired, it's just what's expected of me  
__To tear your heart, from the inside to the outside  
__You know I was wired, I just couldn't help it  
__The hundred thousand times I hurt you  
_-Tabitha's Secret

The weeks passed by quickly. Things still weren't right between the couple and Deacon was starting to get a little frustrated after three weeks of no sex but he was dealing. Raven for her part was amazed at how understanding he was being. It was a full month later that she started feeling sick. It wasn't all the time but it was often enough to bother her. After a week of it she finally went to Clarice, a witch Deacon had on standby as a nurse.

"Hi, Raven," Clarice smiled sitting behind a desk and filing her nails. "What's up?"

"I've been kind of sick lately."

"Vampires don't get sick."

"Exactly."

"Hmm… Well, hop up on my table."

Raven looked around the room. "You don't have a table."

"Very well, use the desk." Suddenly, Raven was unsure about Clarice helping her since the girl seemed completely insane. Still she sat down on the edge of the desk and Clarice got up. "Well… let's see…" She laid her hand over Raven's head and chanted. "Hmm…"

"What?"

"What? I'm no doctor. I'm a healer. This'll take a few moments though." Raven resisted the urge to growl at the witch. Thirty minutes later the witch regarded Raven thoughtfully. "You're Deacon's girl, right?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"What is it?"

"You've been faithful?"

"Yes," Raven said wanting to snap at her.

"I don't mean to insult you but you're pregnant and Deacon's a made vampire of his kind, and like our made vampires he can't have kids."

"I'm what?!"

"I checked several times, that's what took so long."

"You're sure?"

"I have an old fashioned test if you want to check again but, yeah, I'm sure."

"Not that I don't trust your expertise but, yeah, I'd like to try a test."

"That's fine." She raffled through a cabinet and pulled out a small oblong box. "You want to do it here?"

"Yeah, it wouldn't be good for Deacon to see it."

"Bathroom's through there." Raven went in and took the test. She sat on a chair in the room and laid her head in her hands. This couldn't be happening. She hadn't slept with anyone but Deacon ever. She closed her eyes concentrating on her own body reaching out with her telepathic powers. She could feel something but told herself that she was imagining it. She sat staring at the floor for the entire half hour. Finally, she got to her feet and looked down at the test.

"Oh god."

"You okay?"

"I… not really."

"Are you going to come out of the bathroom?"

"I don't know." Raven finally managed to make her way out of the bathroom. "What do I do?"

"You've got to tell him, obviously."

"What's he going to think? I can answer that he's going to think I cheated on him. He'll never believe me."

"You aren't giving him enough credit." Raven just looked at the other woman. "…Okay… maybe he's not the most understanding man but I'm sure you'll get him to come around."

"Somehow I really doubt it, but thanks." When Raven finally made it back to the room she and Deacon shared Deacon was standing regarding the kitchen on one of the monitors. He looked up when she came in.

"Hey, sweetheart." He crossed over to her and kissed her lightly.

"What're you doing?"

"Spying."

"Why?"

"I have to have a reason?" He crossed over to their bed and kicked his shoes off before facing her again.

"Yeah, that would make sense."

"Where were you today?"

"I went to go see Clarice."

Deacon's blue eyes narrowed in concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just feeling kind of out of it."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yep." She walked over to him and ran her hands over his chest. "In fact I feel pretty damn good."

"Yeah?" he asked distracted by her hands.

"Mmm… hmm…" She pushed him onto the bed and straddled his legs. "I've missed you, you know."

"I've missed you too. I swear, though, if you're teasing me I'll be forced to hurt you." She laughed and pulled her shirt off tossing it behind her. With an almost feral growl he rolled them over and got to his feet getting rid of his own clothes so fast she knew they must have torn. He didn't care; he was back on her before she could even finish unbuttoning her pants. He finished for her and yanked them off. He suddenly slowed down as he pulled her panties off and unhooked her bra sliding it slowly off her body.

"Deacon?" she whispered confused by his sudden change in mood.

"My _formal _apology," he grinned at her before dipping his head to her breast and suckling. "I hurt you bad, I was a complete and utter asshole. I don't deserve you but for some reason that I can't comprehend you want to be with me."

"I don't get it either," she smiled.

"I'm going to start being worthy of you. I can't change who I am but I can change who I am with you." Her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her. She leaned into the kiss eagerly. She hadn't realized how much she was missed being with him until now. She had been denying herself as well as him.

His hands and mouth were everywhere, memorizing her every curve until she came apart under him twice, only then did he allow himself to sink into her. They both moaned at their joining, denied for so long. He met her gaze as he started to move, allowing a slight mind merge for the first time, allowing her to see his feelings for her. He may not be able to say what he felt, he may not even know himself if it was love, but he could show her.

Raven reached up and touched his face gently caressing his cheek. He nuzzled her hand, kissing the palm tenderly. "I love you," she told him. She didn't expect him to say it back, but now she knew that he did. That was good enough for now.

They reached their release together and fell, sweaty and sated onto the mattress. She cuddled up to his side not knowing how to tell him. Soon he was asleep and she got up, throwing on one of his shirts and sitting on the windowsill watching the city lights. Sleep wouldn't come for her that night.


	13. I Could Love You Much Better Than This

Author's Note- The song is "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan. Warning, lots of Deacon Frost's potty mouth in this chapter.

* * *

I Could Love You Much Better Than This

* * *

_"The winter here's cold, and bitter  
It's chilled us to the bone.  
We haven't seen the sun for weeks  
Too long too far from home."_

* * *

When Raven finally fell asleep it was midday. She awoke again at dusk, feeling nauseous. Deacon was already awake having gotten up and procuring two glasses of blood. "Hungry?" he asked pouring some of his into Mr. Whisker's bowl. 

Her stomach lurched. "No thanks," she said. "I fed yesterday." He frowned slightly. "I'm fine."

"I was watching the kitchen yesterday, I would have seen you go in," he said his eyes narrowed. She winced. "What's going on?"

"I… I don't know where to start."

"I suggest you find a place."

* * *

_"I feel just like I'm sinking  
And I claw for solid ground.  
I'm pulled down by the undertow,  
I never thought I could feel so low,  
Oh darkness I feel like letting go."_

* * *

Raven looked down at the bedspread. This was her worst nightmare. He'd never believe her. "Deacon, sit down." 

"What's wrong?" he demanded, choosing to sit in the computer chair, across the room from her.

"I…"

"Spit it out."

"I'm pregnant."

"Really?" it was asked so flatly, so devoid of emotion that she winced again.

"I, I don't know how it happened but-"

Deacon snorted. "It's obvious how it happened, sweetheart."

"Deacon-"

"What? Am I supposed to believe that it's mine?"

"I've never been with another-"

"Save it, Raven."

* * *

_"If all of the strength and all of the courage  
Come and lift me from this place.  
I know I could love you much better than this,  
Full of grace"_

* * *

She tried to swallow but the lump in her throat wouldn't allow it. "I'm serious, please just listen to me." 

"Why?" he demanded getting to his feet. "After the fuckin' hard time you gave me for almost sleeping with Mercury you were fucking some other guy? Why should I listen to one goddamned thing you say!?"

She tried to tell herself that she had expected this, and she had, that didn't make it any easier. "I-"

"You know what, I don't want to hear it. Get out."

"Please, just-"

"Raven, I'm giving you a chance to leave of your own accord. Don't make me throw you out."

"I love you," she sobbed.

"Liar," he growled. "Was last night your pity fuck? Give the chump one last night before ripping out his fuckin' heart?"

* * *

_"So it's better this way, I said  
Having seen this place before.  
Where everything we said and did  
Hurts us all the more."_

* * *

"No," she tried. "I do love you. Deacon, I'd never cheat on you. I swear." 

"Get the fuck out of my sight," he barked.

"Please," she whispered standing and stepping towards him slowly. "Please, just hear me out. You know me- I would never… I don't know how it happened but it did. This baby is ours." She started to touch his shoulder but he grabbed her arm.

"Don't you dare touch me," he said his tone low and deadly. "I'm sick of your lies. Tell me the fuckin' truth. Who was it?"

"There's no one else. There never was."

"Get the fuck out of my sight, slut." She flinched as though struck.

"Deacon-"

"Fuck it, I'll leave." He threw a set of keys to the floor. "Take your fuckin' clothes, the cat, whatever the fuck you want and get the fuck out of my life. I never want to fucking see you again." Her knees almost buckled as she sobbed. As she looked up at him she could have sworn his eyes were wet too, but that must have been her own tears. Deacon Frost didn't cry.

* * *

_"Its just that we stayed,  
Too long in the same old sickly skin.  
I'm pulled down by the undertow,  
I never thought I could feel so low,  
Oh darkness I feel like letting go."_

* * *

"Don't leave," she was almost begging now. She couldn't do this all alone. 

"Goodbye Raven," he said his tone clipped. He turned and strode out that door. "Be gone by the time I get back or I'll have you thrown out." She heard the elevator door ding and he was gone. Now her knees did give out.

She stayed crumpled up on the floor for a good fifteen minutes sobbing. Mr. Whiskers came over and allowed her to pick him up and cuddle with him as she wept into his coat. Finally she was able to get her emotions under wraps enough to grab a duffle bag and throw a few of her outfits into it. She found a carrier in the back of the closet and, taking Deacon at his word, placed Mr. Whiskers inside. She needed something of Deacon to hold onto.

Still crying, she got out a piece of paper and wrote a letter, leaving it on the bed for him. Perhaps he'd read it, maybe not. Either way this was it. They hurt each other one too many times. She was done. But, God, it hurt.

She, picked up the keys, shouldered the bag, and carried the cat carrier to the elevator and rode it down. She was still shaking all over when the elevator arrived at the ground floor. Mercury was standing with Quinn when she arrived. Things between the women had been tense since Deacon's near transgression. Still, she walked towards the other woman calmly. Mercury tensed, clearly expecting a fight.

* * *

_"If all of the strength and all of the courage come  
And lift me from this place.  
I know I could love you much better than this,  
Full of grace"_

* * *

What actually came out of Raven's mouth shocked Mercury. "Take care of him," she said simply. 

"What?" Not bothering to answer, Raven turned and walked out the door, finding Deacon's car sitting in front of the building. She threw the bag into the back and sat the carrier in the back seat. She started the car and pulled away, managing to get to the city limits before her tears overtook her again. At least they couldn't hurt each other any more. It was over.

* * *

_"I know I could love you much better than this,  
Its better this way…._


	14. Drive

Author's Note- The song is "Drive" by The Cars. Enjoy!

* * *

Drive

* * *

_"Who's gonna tell you when  
__It's too late" _

Raven managed to get herself together enough to start driving again. She had made it across state lines when the tears came over her again. Fighting them back she decided to stop for the day. Choosing a small house, she pulled into the driveway. In a way, she reasoned, this was like the way the world was after "Captain Trips" in Stephen King's The Stand, only the virus wasn't the flu- it was vampires.

Houses like this stood empty in every small town. The humans had lost and had been rounded up. Some had escaped, of course, but they were a minority and not worrisome to the vampires for now. Raven herself had escaped after the battle had gone badly. She had been on the run for almost three years. Ironically, she was on the run again.

_"Who's gonna tell you things  
Aren't so great" _

She was alone again. Not completely, she reasoned, breaking into the house and letting Mr. Whiskers out. She had the cat and her baby. No soul mate.

"I'll be fine," her voice sounded false to her own ears. She curled up on the bed shaking. Where would she go?

_"Who's gonna pick you up  
__When you fall  
__Who's gonna hang it up  
__When you call" _

A cat, a baby, no home and a bounty on her head if anyone actually knew who she was- what side she had fought on. Remembering this, she forced herself to get up and stumbled into the bathroom she found a pair of scissors and chopped her bangs, which always fell into her eyes, usually obscuring one, short. It was sloppy but no one would recognize her.

She could go to an enclave. The witches had set up several, wanting their children raised separate from the vampires. They would accept her when she told them even an abridged version of her story. She snorted humorlessly, looking at her butchered hair and her red eyes. Hell, if she still looked this bad any woman would try to help her.

Mr. Whiskers came into the room and rubbed up against her legs. He meowed when she looked down at him. She scooped him into her arms and walked back to the bedroom wondering, absently, about the family who had lived here before. She hoped they had made it out.

_"Who's gonna pay attention  
__To your dreams  
__Who's gonna plug their ears  
__When you scream" _

She remembered the night of the attack vividly. Jez had been the first to die. The small safe house had been targeted by a dragon, and when they had run Jez had been struck down by a stake to the heart, then a shot to the head. Morgead had flown into the fight with no care to his own safety. He was reckless and almost seemed relieved when he was staked.

The others had run, Raven with a group of witches. They had been cornered in the forest. The fight had been brief and bloody. Raven and one other witch stood at the end of it. To this day Raven couldn't remember the girl's name. She was only fourteen and had been sent to the safe house only the day before.

Raven helped the girl into a cave and though she tried to stop her bleeding the girl had refused vampire blood and had died thirty minutes later. After that night she had been alone. She had snuck back to Circle Daybreak's headquarters to find the building burned to the ground. After that she had laid low. The battle was over and there was nothing she could do now.

_"You can't go on  
__Thinking nothing's wrong  
__Who's gonna drive you home tonight" _

The last few months had been heaven. After being found by the slave hunters she just knew how she'd end up. Convincing the men that she'd fetch a higher price as a virgin she thought was just a temporary reprieve. Then Deacon had stood up in the auction house like the hero in one of those romance novels Thistle had devoured. He had taken her in and for the first time in three years she was clean, safe, and wanted.

Several of the other Daybreakers were there and she finally felt as though she belonged. Her gang was dead, her friends were dead but maybe she didn't have to be alone. Deacon was an unexpected surprise. After their strange beginning she hadn't expected to see him again.

_"Who's gonna hold you down  
__When you shake" _

The intensity of her growing love for him scared her. He was cold, calculating, cruel and everything she had learned in Daybreak to hate. There was another side to Deacon Frost though. It was only seen in those tender moments after they made love and he held her close. Or when he thought she was asleep and sat up reading while absently stroking her hair. Or when they showered together and he tenderly touched her body, as though cherishing every curve. Or simply in the way he made her laugh when no one else could, when she thought she had forgotten how. There was something gentle in him he'd only let her see.

She had fallen in love with him completely. Their love had stood up to one test already, his transgression. It couldn't, however, stand up his apparent insecurity. And really, did she want to be with a man who had so little faith in her. The answer was simple. Yes.

_"Who's gonna come around  
__When you break" _

He had made it obvious what he wanted though. So tomorrow she'd keep driving until she found a safe spot to settle down. She'd raise her child on her own if she had to. Perhaps in time she'd forget him. Perhaps the time would at least dull the ache she felt.

_"You can't go on  
__Thinking nothing's wrong  
__Who's gonna drive you home tonight"_


	15. I've Almost Forgotten

Author's Note- The song I use here is an old song by Matchbox Twenty in the days that they were still Tabitha's Secret?. The song is "Dear Joan." It's a very fitting Deacon/Raven piece. I've cut a few lines out to suit my purposes but I've left it mostly alone.

* * *

I've Almost Forgotten

* * *

_"Dear Joan, I've almost forgotten  
__The pane in the window, the blue dress in the doorway" _

It was funny. He didn't miss her at all that first week. Or the second. The anger kept him going he supposed. He didn't allow himself to feel anything but the anger. When Ash or Quinn tried to find out what had happened he would snap and growl. Quinn backed off easily but Ash did so only when threats were involved. The young lamia was clearly worried about his friend.

He told himself the third week that he had simply gotten used to having her and Mr. Whiskers around. He didn't miss them. He couldn't love the little tramp. By the fourth week he was anxious and starting to worry that maybe she gotten herself hurt or captured. He was even starting to get angry at himself over his reaction to her news.

_"Dear Joan, help me remember  
__The face I forgot, and the traps that I've sprung" _

At the second month he posted a reward for her return citing her as a runaway slave. Later that month he changed it to include any information on her whereabouts. It paid off but by the time he sent someone she was gone. By the fourth month Mary-Lynnette had discovered that she was pregnant. Deacon had requested that she get a test done and reluctantly the made vampire complied. The baby was Ash's.

_"To tear your heart, from the inside to the outside  
__You know I was wired, I just couldn't help it  
__The hundred thousand times I hurt you" _

The two were a different sort of vampire than he was, he told himself. Simply because they could breed when it shouldn't be possible…. He stopped those thoughts whenever they would start. The baby wasn't his. It was completely impossible. Raven had simply slept with another man. Only, she was with him every night, by his side when she wasn't with Mary-Lynnette and Ash.

These thoughts would drive him crazy if he let them. She had been the one stable loving thing in his life and he had ruined it quite effectively. So he kept telling himself that he was right. He had to be right. Even if he was wrong how could he have known?

_"Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before  
__I've wanted more from this than anything I've ever known, Dear Joan" _

It was the dreams of their fight that haunted him. He could see himself screaming at her calling her a slut over and over again. He could see the pain in Raven's blue eyes as she tried to explain and begged him again and again to stay.

_"Dear Joan, your face has a brightness  
__That I've never seen, in the years that I've known you" _

"You okay, boss?" Quinn asked as the two entered one of Deacon's clubs.

"Wonderful," Deacon lied. "Any information?"

"Nothing," Quinn said nervously. He hated seeing Deacon so unhinged. Deacon was the only friend he had, the only other vampire that would put up with him. When the girl had left Deacon had slowly become more and more moody. Mercury had even joined in the search for Raven. The girl had done a great job of disappearing. The two grabbed a bottle of whiskey and began to polish it off

_"Dear Joan, I'd pick up the pieces  
__But some scattered too far, they flew when I kicked them" _

"She was pregnant," Deacon told his second in command after finishing half the bottle. Quinn's eyebrows shot up. "Fuckin' pregnant."

"Like ML?"

"See, she told me. She was so fucking scared, she was shaking, but she told me. I called her a slut and told her to get out of my home." Quinn didn't respond, but he was starting to understand why she had run away and hidden herself so well. "She begged me to listen and I told her I'd have her thrown out if she didn't leave." He laughed humorlessly. "So she left."

"Deac-" Quinn sighed. "We'll find her." Now he wondered. He had been on Deacon's bad side on occasion and it was scary. This girl didn't have the experience in that that he and Mercury had. He wouldn't be surprised if she had run as far and fast as she could with no plans to ever let Deacon near his child.

"_You stood by me patiently, waiting and brooding" _

"You know I'll cut your balls off and stuff them down your throat if you breathe a word of this," Deacon said his tone conversational.

"Yeah," Quinn agreed. With that Deacon stood and walked out taking the bottle with him. Quinn watched him go before sighing. If Deacon's enemies or rivals ever got wind of this he'd be targeted by all of them as would Raven and the kid. With a start Quinn realized that Raven might have given birth by now.

_"So deeply in love, with every face that I've shown" _

Deacon walked down the street watching the lights flicker off the water left by a recent rain. He had noticed a subtle swelling in Raven's belly the last time they had made love and wondered how far along she had been. He sat down on the stoop and started across the street. She was gone; he accepted that. He would never stop searching for her but he had accepted that she would never come back to him.

_"Once I forget, twice I'm a fool  
__Three times I wrap my hands around you neck" _

Was she still pregnant or was she caring for their baby by herself? A baby that was half him and half her- the thought was terrifying. As much was he ached to see her again, to hold her and apologize, part of him wondered if perhaps she was better off gone. Their child could be raised without his caustic influence. He'd only ruin the kid.

He wasn't sure if he could survive without her but he knew that she was better off without him. The child was definitely so. He wouldn't know what to do with a kid if he had one anyhow.

_"Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before  
__I've wanted more from this than anything I've ever known, Dear Joan" _

The months she was gone quickly became a year, which rolled into two, which turned into three. The time went by and he heard nothing. No one had seen her or heard anything about her. He upped the reward often but no one responded. He was about to give up when he got a phone call from a young witch.

_"Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before  
__I've wanted more from this than anything I've ever known, Dear Joan" _


	16. Help Me Remember How to Smile

Help Me Remember How to Smile

"Can you help me remember how to smile

Make it somehow all seem worthwhile

How on earth did I get so jaded?

Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go

I know what no one else knows

Here I am just drownin' in the rain

With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry

Day and night, earth and sky

Somehow I just don't believe it"

-Soul Asylum

Raven made sure the headband was on correctly so her hair was out of her face. She could already hear Jez downstairs noisily playing with Mr. Whiskers. She walked down and saw her daughter running through the living room dragging a string for the vampire cat to chase. "Morning, Jez. Are you ready for your lessons?"

Jez sighed but took the toy mouse off the string and threw it for the cat. She then followed her mother into the study. "What are we studying today?"

"English." To Raven's delight her daughter was brilliant. She was already reading and writing at a second grade level. They went over her reading and writing. This was her life now. Taking care of Jez and Mr. Whiskers. They lived in a small enclave run by witches. She had disappeared very well.

That wasn't to say that she was happy. She missed Deacon so much that it was now a physical ache. He had tried to get in contact with her once, sending an emissary. She had sent him back with a broken nose and moved to another enclave.

She had never spoken bad about Deacon to anyone except Mr. Whiskers who couldn't tell. She let Jez believe that her father loved her but couldn't be around. It was better than the truth. She had spent these five years celibate. The thought of other men did nothing for her.

"Can I go play now?" Jez asked noticing that her mother's attention had wavered.

"Yeah, but finish the chapter before you go to bed, and take Mr. Whiskers with you."

The tom cat had grown incredibly attached to her daughter. She knew that if anything were to happen he'd come get her or die protecting Jez.

She sighed and put on some music and started cleaning. She was humming along with Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer" and dusting when the song stopped. Annoyed, she walked over to the CD player. She froze when Smokey Robinson's "You've Really Got a Hold On Me" began. She looked around but there was no one in the living room. She didn't have this song on any of her CD's though. She had refused to get any CD with it on.

Trembling, she whispered, "Deacon?"

"I figured it was fitting," his voice came behind her but she didn't move. "This song was playing our first time together. Do you remember?" She nodded wordlessly. "Nice house, and you did a very good job of hiding yourself this time."

"Why are you here?"

"I've missed you, Raven. It's time for you to come home."

She crossed her arms still facing the CD player not trusting herself to look at him. "And my daughter? What about Jez? Go away, Deacon. Leave us alone."

"I told you before, sweetheart, I take care of what's mine."

"I don't belong to you. And Jez sure as hell doesn't. I'm a slut remember?"

"Damn it, Raven… you're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"I don't care what you say. All I want is for you to leave. Now."

"I'm sorry for what I said. I was wrong... and completely out of line." The words seemed wrenched out of him. "I love you, Raven. I want you, and our son to come home." Her eyes were wide as she turned and gazed up at him.

"I- I don't think I can do this again," she whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "Where's our daughter? You said her name was Jez?"

"Deacon, we can't-"

"Sit with me. We need to talk." She led him to the kitchen and they sat across from each other. "I know she's ours. I'm sorry that I doubted your fidelity. Its just… this wasn't supposed to be possible."

"I know that. There's a difference between being in shock and complete irrational fury. That was the only time; in all the time I've known you, that I was scared of you. That's saying a lot since you're a scary son of a bitch when you want to be."

"I wouldn't have hurt you, not even if you did sleep with someone else. I wouldn't hurt you or Jez either. You're my world."

"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, but-"

"That's the sweetest thing I've ever said to anyone, but if you tell anyone I'll deny it. Then I'll have to give you a spanking."

"You'd enjoy that too much."

"Probably," he smiled.

"Would you like to meet your daughter?"

"Very much but I can't go back out in the sun." He ran a hand down his cheek and showed her the suntan lotion. "I'm melting."

"Shut the blinds and I'll go get her."

"Thank you, Raven."

"I won't keep you from our daughter. That doesn't mean things are okay between us. They aren't and won't be for a very long time."

"I understand." She left and he shut the blinds before going into the bathroom and washing the suntan lotion off his face. She came back after a few minutes with a young dark haired girl behind her. The little girl looked up at Deacon with big blue eyes. Deacon swallowed thickly. "Hello, Jez."

"Hi," Jez smiled. She looked up at Raven questioningly. Raven smiled reassuringly. "My mommy said that you were…" she looked at Raven again who nodded. "Are you my daddy?"

"Yes," Deacon nodded. Jez grinned and ran towards him hugging him. Deacon's eyes widened as he brought his hand to rest on her back. He looked at Raven who was smiling.

"Mommy said that you couldn't be with us right now but I always knew you'd come back!" Jez exclaimed. Mr. Whiskers rubbed against Deacon's leg demanding his own attention. Deacon was lost for a few minutes before Raven came forward taking Jez's hand.

"Let's go sit down," she suggested. "Then you can tell your dad about yourself."

"Okay!" Jez said happily. She looked up at Deacon as she sat down in between the adults. "Can I call you daddy?"

Deacon felt a strange twisting sensation in his chest. "Sure, you can, kiddo."


	17. I Won't Put My Hands Up and Surrender

Author's Note: There will probably just be one more chapter left after this one. Enjoy.

* * *

I Won't Put My Hands Up and Surrender

* * *

_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,  
__I'll tell you that.  
__But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it  
__Where's the sense in that? _

_I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder  
__Or return to where we were _

_Well I will go down with this ship  
__And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
__There will be no white flag above my door  
__I'm in love and always will be  
_-Dido

* * *

Deacon found himself three hours later still sitting with Jez as his daughter excitedly told him about every aspect of her short life. Surprisingly, he found her endless ramblings endearing. Raven sat on Jez's other side watching him with an indiscernible look on her face. "Where have you been?" Jez asked finally. Deacon winced looking at Raven for help.

"I told you, honey," Raven said gently. "He's been really busy, he hasn't been able to come visit us."

"But I'm here now," Deacon announced, his eyes went over Jez's head to meet Raven's, "and I'm not going anywhere." Raven looked away but Jez threw her arms around him burying her head against his chest. Deacon wrapped his arms around his little girl feeling his every protective instinct rise up. This was his family right here. With a horrified pang he realized that he'd die to protect them.

"I know it's been an exciting day," Raven said standing a couple hours later. "But you need to go to bed, young lady."

"Awwe," Jez whined. She looked up at Deacon hopefully.

"Sorry, princess, I have to agree with your mom," Deacon said. Jez sighed but stood up.

"Will read me my story?" she asked shyly.

"Uh, sure," Deacon said. Jez squealed happily and rushed upstairs.

"So, now what?" Raven asked.

"I'd better go read her that story," Deacon said. "Then we'll have all night to talk."

"Go ahead," Raven smiled. "She likes Dr. Seuss."

"Dr. Seuss?" Deacon asked. Raven laughed and stood to follow him up the stairs. Jez was already in bed. "So, what story would you like to hear?"

"There's A Wocket in My Pocket," Jez said with a smile. Deacon turned to Raven clearly thinking that Jez was making that title up. Raven smiled, grabbing the book and handing it to him.

Deacon opened it and cleared his throat. "'Did you ever have the feeling there's a WASKET in your BASKET?'" Soon he had finished the book and Jez had settled down to go to sleep.

"Goodnight, daddy," she murmured.

"Goodnight, princess," Deacon said, "sweet dreams." Raven tucked the little girl in and stepped aside as Mr. Whiskers took his normal spot, at Jez's side. Raven left the door open a crack as the two walked down the stairs.

"Did you mean that?" Raven asked.

"What?"

"That you aren't going anywhere?"

"Yes," Deacon said. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you're stuck with me."

"I told Jez that you loved her but had important things to do," Raven said. "She never doubted that you'd come back to us, even though I always told her that you may not be able to."

"How much did you tell her about me?" Deacon asked nervously.

"Just the good stuff," Raven said before smiling impishly at him. "So not much."

"Ha ha," he said wryly. "Raven, I..."

"I know," she said finally. "I've missed you."

He smiled. "I know things are bad right now, but I'm going to stay here until I prove to you that I'm sorry, I love you, and you're safe to come home to me."

"I really need to get to bed," Raven said standing.

"Would you like me to get a hotel, or something?" Raven smiled at the question, there really weren't any hotels, and really, there was no currency right now, there was so much of everything it wasn't necessary, so it was a barter system. A weak one at that.

"You can stay here," Raven told him, "but on the couch."

"That's fine," Deacon nodded. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"I'll... um, see you in the morning." She left, going up the stairs and feeling her heart pounding. How long would she be able to resist him? She went upstairs and got dressed in one of his shirts that she had packed by accident, without even thinking about it. She then crawled in bed.

Three hours later Raven groaned rolling onto her back. This sucked, knowing that he was downstairs and not being able to touch him. With a groan she got up and walked downstairs pouring herself a glass of water. Deacon walked in shirtless and yawning. "Hey, sweetheart. Couldn't sleep?"

"No. You too?" she asked.

"No, it's new place, and the couch is a little small."

"Drink?" she offered him her glass of water.

He smiled. "No, thank you."

"What have you been doing with yourself?"

"Looking for you and business."

"Deacon, I have to ask-"

He could still read her easily. "There hasn't been anyone else but you, baby."

"Five years?" she asked her eyes wide.

"It has fucking sucked too," he said with a sigh. "And you?"

"No one but you," Raven promised. He stretched with a yawn and she felt her long asleep libido awaken and beg for her to do something. He offered her a smile and sat down on a stool next to her.

"What about you?"

"Being a mother has pretty much taken all of my time," she shrugged. "Plus, this is a nice place. The people here have been good to Jez and I."

"I'm glad," he said reaching out and taking her hand.

"Deacon," she said softly.

His look was pure innocence. "What? Can't I even hold your hand?" She couldn't really argue that. They discussed their lives, as they talked Deacon traced his fingers over her hands. He smiled noticing that she stuttered every few words, and smelling the spike in her scent. "Are you okay, baby? You look... flushed."

"Screw this," she muttered and launched herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her and they went tumbling to the ground. Neither cared as their kisses grew more intense. "Upstairs," she gasped. "Jez might see us."

The thought of his daughter walking in was enough to curb his desire for a few moments. He stood lifting Raven into his arms and carrying her up the stairs. He kicked the door shut behind him. They fell onto her bed and kissed ripping at each others clothes. "That was my shirt," he murmured.

"Was is the operative word there," she giggled.

"Why do you have my shirt?" he asked nipping at her throat.

"It made me feel close to you," she said with a soft sigh as his teeth nipped at her collarbone.

"I like that," he grinned. "God, you're beautiful. I've missed this."

"Me too." His hands were everywhere teasing her until she was panting and whimpering. "Please."

"Please what?" he smiled.

"Fuck me," she said. He arched a brow in surprise but wasn't about to argue. He surged inside her. Much to his shock she came as soon as he was inside her. He took her fast and hard until she was gasping and holding onto his shoulders for dear life. This time when she climaxed he joined her, spilling his seed inside her. "That was intense."

"Understatement," he murmured rolling onto his back. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"No," she said. "But I'm getting there."


	18. Let Me Be The One

Author's note- Thanks to everyone who was reading this. I'm not overly fond of this chapter, I may revamp it later, but this is the epilog.

* * *

Let Me Be The One

* * *

_Never said I was innocent  
__I will burn in hell for the things I've done to you  
__Never said I was anything good  
__I should die from the shame for what I put you through_

_Let me be the one to bring us back from the dead  
__I will take the blame for everything  
__You know I just wanna help you forget  
__Yeah yeah_

_We are still living on broken glass  
__We are still numb because it just keeps happening  
__All your friends they can kiss my ass  
__They only see the simple things that they wanna see_

_Let me be the one to make the pain go away  
__Shed my skin and show a brand new face  
__You know I just wanna know that you're okay  
_-Everclear

* * *

Raven awoke early, put on a robe, and made sure the blinds were tightly shut. She stared at Deacon who was still asleep, laying on his back. She wondered if he knew that he snored. She smiled faintly, she hadn't slept so well in years. Reaching down, and brushing his hair out of his eyes, she felt her heart swell with love. This was home.

"Mommy!" Jez called.

"Shh," Raven said coming out of the room. "Your daddy's asleep." Jez's eyes widened. "What is it?"

"I thought I imagined him," her daughter admitted. Raven felt her heart twist. "Why's he still asleep?"

"He likes the night," Raven explained. "Let's go downstairs and get something to eat." Deacon slept until night fall, Raven realized that she'd have to change her and Jez's sleeping patterns. Jez ran to Deacon, he lifted her up and twirled her around. She giggled as he sat her back on the floor.

"How are you?" he asked Raven.

"Oh, um, fine," Raven said.

"And you, kiddo?"

"Great!" Jez said with a grin. Raven somehow managed to convince Deacon to join them for a game of Go Fish, during which he discovered that his daughter cheated.

"See?" Raven smiled, "she does take after you." Jez giggled but clearly loved being compared to her father. An hour later they put Jez to bed together. "We need to talk," Raven said finally after a while.

"I know," Deacon nodded.

"I just need to know what you want," Raven said. "I mean, I am glad you came back but I don't want to uproot Jez from a place where she's safe."

"I was thinking about that after you fell asleep last night," Deacon admitted. "I... I'd like to stay with you."

"Deacon," Raven said. "I..."

"Hear me out," he said. "Mercury can easily take over my business. Ash and the others could join us on this island or another if they wanted. I don't like living without you and if you come back with me... I don't want you in danger. It was different when it was just you. You can take care of yourself, Jez though..."

"So you're willing to give up everything," Raven said in clear disbelief.

"If you want to look at it that way," he shrugged. "I think I'd be getting back a whole lot more. What do you say?"

What else could she say to that? "Okay."

"Yeah?"

"I've been living a half-life without you here," she confessed. "I've missed you. Let's find an island, something for us."

"You're willing to give up this?" he asked.

"I like it here," she said. "But these people don't exactly love vampires."

"I have a confession to make," Deacon said, smiling.

"What's that?" He reached into his jacket and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped it open and showed her a picture on it of a large island.

"Apparently, I own this," he said. "Mercury is already sending people to fix it up." He grinned at her. "Is this a good start?"

"A good start?"

"In making things up to you," he said. "I figured a gift of an island is about as grand of a gesture that anyone can make."

"Gift?"

"All yours," he told her.

"You make it very hard to stay mad at you."

"Good. Mercury says that it should be ready in three months. I'll have to fly back to America for a couple days to sign some paperwork, then I can come back here, take you two and go home."

Raven smiled looking at the island. "Sounds like a plan."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," she smiled kissing him.

"I love you, so fucking much," he breathed against her lips.

"I love you too," she told him.


End file.
